OT: Obituaries Thread

[MarqHusker]

Obit thread people,.. 

Take atari to the ...what makes you....thread 

[847badgerfan]

Robert Mueller. 81. RIP.

[OrangeAfroMan]

My dad died yesterday.  He was 70.

I'm really numb about it.  He was walking at work and just collapsed.  Gone.  Sudden.
Exactly the opposite of my mom's cancer battle 25 years ago. 

I haven't told my friends or anyone yet.  I don't know why.  I just want to sit with it for awhile, I guess. 
He was a good man.  Grew up in rural GA, was a workaholic to provide for us.  I had the best possible childhood imaginable.  Growing up, I'd see him get so angry/frustrated when things didn't happen as they should.  I think that's why my brother and I are so chill when "life happens."  He was the angriest person who didn't drink, I'd tell people.  But just in moments, not all the time.

In his last 20 years, he remarried and chilled out a lot.  That made me happy.  His wife and her family did a good job with that.  He moved back to the area he grew up.  That probably helped. 

I didn't call as often as I should have.  Only visited once a year.  He loved me so much.  Like he'd get misty-eyed every time I left to fly back home.  He'd always hoped I'd move back east, but for no particular reason, I never did.

When I'd visit, I'd go back into kid mode.  He'd have projects to do outside or around the house, and I'd be his helper, because he'd want to do it himself.  I'd do the grunt work, just like as a teenager.  That was our dynamic.  He instilled a work ethic in me.  I know that I can outwork a problem.  I know we joke about how much time teachers get off, and we do, but we also get leave like any other job.  Many teachers use it all.  I have so much saved that I donate it to others and still have plenty left.  I don't ever want to be the weak link.  Being reliable.  Being willing when you are able.  Even in sports, I had confidence I could outwork the other guy to win. 

I'm posting this here because it's a little more detached and that you guys will get how I'm feeling.  I appreciate you all. 

[847badgerfan]

I'm sorry for your great loss.

You just made a great post, by the way.

[Honestbuckeye]

Great post Fro.   Well thought out and well stated.   

I am truly sorry for the loss of your dad.  Sounds like he- like all of us- was far from perfect, but he left you with some incredible gifts that will last for your lifetime.  

[betarhoalphadelta]

Sorry for your loss, OAM. As neither of us are ones for prayer, just know you'll be in my thoughts. 

[utee94]

Condolences OAM, and thanks for the thoughtful post.  It sounds like he did the best he could and in at least some ways, that was enough.  

[FearlessF]

I haven't told my friends or anyone yet.  I don't know why.  I just want to sit with it for awhile, I guess. 
He was a good man.  Grew up in rural GA, was a workaholic to provide for us.  I had the best possible childhood imaginable.  Growing up, I'd see him get so angry/frustrated when things didn't happen as they should.  I think that's why my brother and I are so chill when "life happens."  He was the angriest person who didn't drink, I'd tell people.  But just in moments, not all the time.

my father was somewhat like that.  workaholic that had a temper/angry/frustrated - would swear a blue streak.
I've always been chill.

Sorry for your loss

[Riffraft]

My dad died yesterday.  He was 70.

I'm really numb about it.  He was walking at work and just collapsed.  Gone.  Sudden.
Exactly the opposite of my mom's cancer battle 25 years ago. 

I haven't told my friends or anyone yet.  I don't know why.  I just want to sit with it for awhile, I guess. 
He was a good man.  Grew up in rural GA, was a workaholic to provide for us.  I had the best possible childhood imaginable.  Growing up, I'd see him get so angry/frustrated when things didn't happen as they should.  I think that's why my brother and I are so chill when "life happens."  He was the angriest person who didn't drink, I'd tell people.  But just in moments, not all the time.

In his last 20 years, he remarried and chilled out a lot.  That made me happy.  His wife and her family did a good job with that.  He moved back to the area he grew up.  That probably helped. 

I didn't call as often as I should have.  Only visited once a year.  He loved me so much.  Like he'd get misty-eyed every time I left to fly back home.  He'd always hoped I'd move back east, but for no particular reason, I never did.

When I'd visit, I'd go back into kid mode.  He'd have projects to do outside or around the house, and I'd be his helper, because he'd want to do it himself.  I'd do the grunt work, just like as a teenager.  That was our dynamic.  He instilled a work ethic in me.  I know that I can outwork a problem.  I know we joke about how much time teachers get off, and we do, but we also get leave like any other job.  Many teachers use it all.  I have so much saved that I donate it to others and still have plenty left.  I don't ever want to be the weak link.  Being reliable.  Being willing when you are able.  Even in sports, I had confidence I could outwork the other guy to win. 

I'm posting this here because it's a little more detached and that you guys will get how I'm feeling.  I appreciate you all. 

I was 61 when I became an orphan.  It is such a loss feeling when you realize you no longer have any parents in which to reach out.  You have my condolences

[medinabuckeye1]

I was 61 when I became an orphan.  It is such a loss feeling when you realize you no longer have any parents in which to reach out.  You have my condolences

This, so true. Sorry @OrangeAfroMan for your loss. When my dad died it was very different, more like your mom but no matter how long you know it is coming, you are never ready.

So sorry.

Edit to add:
I was hoping to do this anyway but Fro's post reminded me to make it my highest priority. My two oldest (7, 5) and I picked flowers from my mom's house and took them to her.

[Gigem]

So sorry to hear about your dad. I’m not big on prayer either, so I’ll just keep you in my thoughts. 

Lost my dad to COVID 6 years ago. Still not fully over it. But it gets easier. 

Sounds like he was a good dad. 

[OrangeAfroMan]

Thanks, guys, I appreciate it.  He was a really good dad.  He'd play catch with me until his arm fell off.  There was a time he had a job in south VA while we were living in Jacksonville, FL.  It was supposed to be a few months, but wound up taking 2 years.  He'd drive down almost every weekend (12 hrs?) Friday night to be there on Saturdays, then drive back Sunday.  Looking back, that's crazy.  That's love.

[MrNubbz]

OAM. condolences on the loss of your father,take care of yourself and the hell with work for a long while

[MikeDeTiger]

Condolences, OAM.  It sucks, and there's nothing to say or do that will change that, for a while.  Hopefully in time, it gets better.  Sounds like he loved you very much, and it's obvious you felt the same toward him. 

I'm fortunate to still have my parents, so what do I know, but it seems there's something especially gut-punching when they're lost when we're still relatively young.....and when it's sudden.  My mom lost her dad at 65 when she was just 42....he just suddenly died of a massive heart attack.  That was harder than when she just recently lost her mom at 98 and she's in her 70's.  My wife lost her mom at 65 to cancer when she was just 41, and while I can't prove it, it seems like that was way worse than if she'd have had a longer life.  

All that to say, I'm sorry for your loss, and it seems like an especially painful one.  I hope your brother and others who knew him well can be a source of strength and comfort when y'all reminisce about him.