A rural Irish parish is having trouble with ghosts, so the Vatican sends a very new and inexperienced priest there. He decides to hold a special meeting after weekly mass, just for people who have had trouble with ghosts. He starts the meeting with a question: (Fake Irish Accent not required, but is a good touch) "Who here has seen a ghost?" Everyone puts their hands up. "Alright, who here has talked with a ghost?" Half the people there put their hands up. "Who here has touched a ghost?" Five people raise their hands. The priest raises an eyebrow. "Who here has had intercourse with a ghost?" The whole congregation is shocked that the priest would ask that, bar one. Only one person in the church, the village's old man, raises his hand. The priest is shocked, so he calls the old man up to the front, and asks again. The old man's face goes white, and he says weakly, "I'm so sorry, father. I thought you said goat."
