In heaven all the policemen will be English,
all the chefs will be French,
all the mechanics will be German,
all the lovers will be Italian
and the entire place will be managed by the Swiss.
In hell all the chefs will be English,
all the mechanics will be French,
all the police will be German,
all the lovers will be Swiss
and the entire place will be managed by the Italians
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Two Englishmen, two Scotsmen, two Welshmen and two Irishmen were marooned on a desert island.
The two Scotsmen got together and started a bank;
the two Welshmen got together and started a choir;
the two Irishmen got together and started a fight;
The two Englishmen never spoke to each other - they hadn't been introduced!
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The Scots keep the Sabbath—and anything else they can lay their hands on.
The Irish will die for a cause—even if they can’t remember what the cause was.
The Welsh pray on their knees —and also on their neighbours.
The English are a race of self made men—which absolves the Almighty of the terrible crime.
Haven't laughed so hard since my boss caught his tie in the paper shredder.
