Buddy....I'm starting to feel for you. Your lack of depth on this thing probably isn't your fault. But it's sort of illustrating what I mean by what base you're born on and your whole situation that is out of your hands. Here are a few non-race (BECAUSE THAT'S ALL YOU'RE ABLE TO SEE) examples:
your mother's neonatal care
the type of interactions you had in your first 3 years of life (frequency, quality, type, etc)
the quality of your elementary school
the role you father played (quiet breadwinner, friendly, funny, disciplinarian, etc)
your parent's relationship - they're actual relationship, not the show they put on for you and your siblings (that all couples put on)
the memories that stuck with you from childhood - positive, negative - what ratio? bullying, violent, boring, stressful?
yes, your race (gasp)
yes, your sex
hell, honestly, even your height/weight - was it a thing, was it not? did you wish you were taller? skinnier? stronger?
.
I could literally sit here and type endlessly on this. And your brain can't get past the race card.
I'm sorry your horizon is so close. That must be frustrating.