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Never had an eagle.

Almost had an eagle and an ace on a par 3 when I was 15, but I'm guessing that the universe just looked at me and said "you don't deserve this, kid, so we're going to stop this ball 12 inches short".

My only one was a blind 2nd shot on a par 4.  It was flying so low that I thought I had overshot the green and put it in someone's yard.  Our group was my buddy, his GF, and my GF, golfing for her first time.

She was spotting it, and said, "I think it went in the hole, that's pretty cool.". It was the second hole of golf she had ever played, and the moment was totally lost on her. 

so, ya had witnesses

I sure as hell could be worse

I usually have a screaming slice.  I'm left handed (not throwing).  I tend to leave the club face open.  If I relax completely and just hit the ball, I do OK, sometimes with some draw, but any time I hit a good tee shot, the approach is going to slice as I tense up.

Then I hack around in a hazard for 5-6 strikes before getting on the green and then sink an 80 foot put for a quad.

I kinda wish I liked golf. Or was even worth half a crap at it. 

My swing form is actually surprising OK, but I have terrible hand-eye coordination, which means I just hack often. Which is not ideal. 

Heh, I haven't played golf in 20 years. My roommate was a golf-pro at an Upper Arlington Course so I got to go pretty often for free. I was never any good, but on one particular day I had a wicked slice (I hit right handed and the ball breaks even farther to the right) on my Tee shot for the first nine holes. We take a break and head back out for the 2nd 9; my roommate says to me that I am slicing pretty bad, what I should do is aim at the goose in the lake and that should put it on the fairway. So I am at the goose and smack hit him square in the head, killing it. I lay my club down on the course and proclaim I am done walking off. I ain't been back. 

my cart partner Jack hit a ball in the pond with his driver on the #11 tee box, dropped a couple club lengths from the pond, smoked a low thin 5 iron and hit a goose in the head, knocking the goose into the pond, killed the goose.

We had to quit, didn't finish.  The canadian geese are considered varmints on the course.  I thought the killing of the varmint was a good thing, but Jack had a big soft heart and couldn't continue.