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Topic: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition

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utee94

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #112 on: January 03, 2019, 11:13:12 PM »
So, I can’t help but observe, that after all these years of Texas fans claiming, based on nothing but their own hot air, that Bob Stoops kicks puppies ...

It turns out that it was Bevo all along.

Ha ha - if he was a step quicker he might’ve launched poor little Uga into seats!
Now this is really funny, because it's true! :)

utee94

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #113 on: January 08, 2019, 09:04:41 AM »
Uga should be very happy Bevo is a steer and not a bull.  A bull that size would kill a half dozen dogs and photographers a week.

Wouldn’t that make a great 1970s ABC Sunday Night Movie?

Voiceover Announcer- “Sick of sophomoric sexual taunting by rivals, Texas takes an uncastrated longhorn bull to its bowl game...”

Sexy 70s woman - “Oh Bevo, you look so.... different.”

Darren McGavin-like journalist - “That’s not a steer.  That’s a bull!  Run!”

Crowd scream.  Shots of a huge longhorn bull tossing spectators at the Cotton Bowl.

Howard Cosell in the booth - “The caw-nage!”

A little girl in pig-tails screams, “Daddy!  Where’s my Daddy?”  As the shadow of the beast looms over her.

There’s a snort.  And a scream.

Voiceover announcer - “Bevo... the bull.  You’ll never go to a football game again.”
I'd watch that!
But it doesn't even need to be a TV movie, real disaster films were huge in the 70s.  Towering Inferno, Poseidon Adventure, Airport, Airport '75, Airport '77... you get my drift! :)

CharleyHorse46

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #114 on: January 08, 2019, 09:31:20 AM »
Thanks, Junior.

So... in light of Clemson's win last night, I wonder what the SEC narrative will be?   "Alabama didn't want to be there," perhaps?

longhorn320

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #115 on: January 08, 2019, 10:09:08 AM »
I would just like to point out that only 2 conference had winning records

in bowl games featuring P5 conference teams

Big 12 went 4 and 3

Big Ten went 5 and 4

the SEC went 5 and 6

The Pac 12 went 3 and 3 

and the ACC went  3 and 4

sec sec sec
They won't let me give blood anymore. The burnt orange color scares the hell out of the doctors.

Gigem

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #116 on: January 08, 2019, 10:49:34 AM »
Thanks, Junior.

So... in light of Clemson's win last night, I wonder what the SEC narrative will be?   "Alabama didn't want to be there," perhaps?
How about everybody just root for their own team.  Mine won, all I really care about.  Never was interested in carrying the SEC mantle.  I thoroughly enjoyed the whipping Clemson put on Bama, gave them a taste of their own medicine.  

Mr Tulip

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #117 on: January 08, 2019, 11:30:55 AM »
Re: Bevo

I own a Great Dane and have had a couple. Woody is a big, currently smelly animal who largely lays on the couch (he takes up an old reclining love seat no one else sits on). When I get home, he runs around in circles, gets petted, then runs off to find one of his toys to throw. We do this 3 or 4 times because that's all the motion he cares to expend.

He's also 36" at the shoulder, weighs 190 lbs, and is around 6' 4" standing on his back legs. Every once in awhile, when I'm winding him up by bumping him over or bulldogging his head, I remember that his breed used to run down and kill wolves by snapping their necks.

These massive animals have chosen to be our friends. Sometimes, though, they remind us of what the other choice would look like.

CharleyHorse46

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #118 on: January 08, 2019, 12:40:06 PM »
How about everybody just root for their own team.  Mine won, all I really care about.  Never was interested in carrying the SEC mantle.  I thoroughly enjoyed the whipping Clemson put on Bama, gave them a taste of their own medicine.  
You're a good aggie, Gig'em.  There's no denying that.   Good aggies are kind of like cats who aren't jerks.  They're very rare but nice to have around.

CharleyHorse46

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #119 on: January 08, 2019, 12:47:05 PM »
So when my irrepressibly sweet cute and adorable wife and I first got married, her father gave us one of his acres.  We had a cheap but affordable Jim Walters home put on it and we had a happy acre with my father-in-law's remaining 29 acres on two sides of us, a neighboring farmers 30 acres on the other side of us and an old feller with about 50 acres across the road from us.

The old feller raised goats and had donkeys to look after them.  My father-in-law and other next door neighbor raised the bare minimal number of cows to meet their agricultural property tax exemptions.  I think it was like 6 cows per 30 acres.  My father-in-law had longhorns.  The neighbor had anguses.

I was a city kid stuck between cow pastures, trying to not get involved but there were times I had to because cattle knock down fences more than Steve McQueen his stalag in The Great Escape.

I have to go to lunch now but if I get a chance, I may share a couple of anecdotes.

Gigem

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #120 on: January 08, 2019, 01:27:51 PM »
JCG over the years you've told a lot of stories but the one that stood out to me about cows was how if PETA people really owned cows they would have no trouble eating them.  They are indeed a stupid animal.  I unfortunately own about 6 on 20 acres myself and deal with the headaches weekly.  

longhorn320

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #121 on: January 08, 2019, 02:37:57 PM »
JCG over the years you've told a lot of stories but the one that stood out to me about cows was how if PETA people really owned cows they would have no trouble eating them.  They are indeed a stupid animal.  I unfortunately own about 6 on 20 acres myself and deal with the headaches weekly.  
so its not true that youre all hat and no cattle 
They won't let me give blood anymore. The burnt orange color scares the hell out of the doctors.

CharleyHorse46

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #122 on: January 08, 2019, 02:42:09 PM »
JCG over the years you've told a lot of stories but the one that stood out to me about cows was how if PETA people really owned cows they would have no trouble eating them.  They are indeed a stupid animal.  I unfortunately own about 6 on 20 acres myself and deal with the headaches weekly.  
Yep.  Tis true, IMO.
To increase my net as a single guy in the ATX, I had become a vegetarian simply because meat-eating girls were generally not as opposed to vegetarian guys as vegetarian girls were to meat-eating guys.  
My i s c & a w was vegetarian too.  Many young women naturally gravitate that way.  Probably for a very specific health, digestion or hygiene advantage but I'm not curious enough to speculate what that might be.  I just know that men who care for their women are supposed to drink pineapple juice but that's all I'm going to say about that.

So when my i s c & a w got pregnant with our first son she started craving big juicy hamburgers.  We were DINKs (dual income/no kids) so I took her to Fuddrucker's every night.  It was the king of burger places in 1995.  One night she was so grateful for her burger she kissed me and the burger flavor in her kiss was so wonderful I stopped being a vegetarian too.
If I had become a vegetarian for humane reasons instead of predatory ones and if I had any qualms about eating animals, living on acreage would've removed all doubt.  The first six months we lived in our  new house, the same two cows stood just beyond the fence, eating grass, chewing their cud and looking at us.
That's when it occurred to me that contributing to the welfare of mankind through slaughter, rendering, butchering actually gave meaning and purpose to an otherwise dull and meaningless life.
I'm just talking about cows here and I would never dehumanize any of my fellow human beings so please do think I'm alluding to any deeper connotations.  
« Last Edit: January 08, 2019, 02:43:57 PM by CharleyHorse46 »

CharleyHorse46

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #123 on: January 08, 2019, 02:51:12 PM »
Gig'em, I'm sure you've had these same experiences.

My neighbors kept cows exclusively but they'd strike some deal to borrow a neighbors bull for a week or two and in springtime they'd all have calves.  If the calves were girls they'd keep them and take some of the older cows to market.  If they were boys they always went to market - eventually, when they were old enough.

Little bulls were cute.  Fearless to a point but skittish.  Stand in front of them they'd back down.  Until it was about time for market and they'd knock you down.  And they'd still be rather little.  Didn't even want to see what they'd be like when they were big and fearless.

Cows were manageable enough.  Every few months or so, a  deer would tangle the electric wire, the cows would figure it out, push down  fence and make their escape down the county road.  Always at night.  You'd hear the clomp, clomp, clomp on the asphalt followed by the inevitable car horn.

You'd have to run down the road and get in front of them.  As they tried to step around, you'd just have to step in front of them again.  It was just like basketball.  Eventually they'd stop trying, give you a dirty look and go home.  Cows were agreeable like that.

But there was the one time one got a tire around its head. 

Drew4UTk

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #124 on: January 08, 2019, 03:06:42 PM »
i own the majority of a cow, from different donors, of course.  it's packed up in the freezer.  

camels are the dumbest of the dumb.  i can imagine an American Jersey attempting to discuss the mysteries of unrooted hay's sudden appearance with a camel and the camel just staring into space... 

true story: i was in the cab of a five ton BS'n with a buddy while we were staged on a patrol... there was a guy in the bed, sitting on the flip down troop bench at the back of that thing.  he was known for being less than intelligent, but was genuinely a good guy.  Some kid was herding the camels from one side of the road to the other and for reasons unknown decided to do so where we were staged.  The majority of the camels passed between the 5 ton and the 'follow' humvee immediately behind with maybe a 30 foot gap... one of the camels stops dead cold and this guy and it commence to a staring contest... 

my buddy and i are watching, but this guy doesn't know it.  

after a few seconds he reaches to his chest and unclips his pepper spray/CS dispenser, casually adjusts the nozzle of it, looks at the camel and back to the sprayer and gives one more adjustment... looks at the camel as he extends his arm in aim- pauses, slightly shifting his arm to the side and lowering it as if giving the camel 'one more chance', and then sprays the thing dead in the face.... 

the camel hardly moves for a second or two, and then slightly shakes its head... it then reared its head back and whips it forward, not only spitting but launching that nasty pepper-spray/CS laced wad of crap straight into this guys face.  

at this point me and my buddy in the cab are biting our lips to keep from laughing out loud and spoiling the scene.  

the guy on the back looks the the camel a second too long, then attends to reattaching the canister of spray back on his gear as if nothing happened.. .once that was accomplished he takes to wiping his face- but not before turning to look at us (no doubt to see if anyone had seen the incident) and that is when we lost it altogether... that crpa all over him was just too much... 

years later we still call this the 'meeting of the minds'... the guy who was spit on died about  20 years ago now... he got out of the Marine Corps and went to school in Arizona- where he was murdered by his room mate who apparently had some bad chemical dependencies and was prone to flipping out.  Shot him in his sleep. 

there is another tale of another guy who currently lives in Oklahoma where a camel in the road was less than decisive on which direction to go to get out of the way, and it started doing some funky high stepping which looked like a hackney horse doing jane fonda aerobics in the middle of the road... it looked like it finally decided to go left, and this guy went to drive by on the right when the camel changed its mind... this guy was driving a 'limo', which was a class 7 armored suburban... we had to explain to the DSS agents why the Ambassador's new 'limo' had a dent in the size and dimensions of a camels foot.... but it ended up he laughed too.  

i wish like hell i could have both of these incidents on film... they rank up there with the funniest things i've ever witnessed.  damn camels- they are dumb... 

CharleyHorse46

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #125 on: January 08, 2019, 03:23:27 PM »
So my father-in-law thought the best part of living in the country was being able to throw crap out in his pasture.  By the time I came into the picture, he'd been doing it for 30 years.  

One time one of his half-grown cows got a tire stuck around her head.  The i s c & a w and I and perhaps one or two toddler ninos were sitting on our porch drinking lemonade when we saw my father-in-law chasing around this half-grown cow with a tire stuck around her head.

After watching for a half hour or so, my i s c & w says to me, "Why don't you go help him?"  I looked at her like she was crazy but I was incentivized in those days to keep her happy so I wandered over through the gate separating our lands and said, "what's up?"

He says, "She's got a tire around her head and I'm trying to get it off."

I asked, "Need any help?" and turned to walk off cause he never wanted my help but he said OK.   I was in shorts and flip-flops. I hadn't even grown up in a small town, let alone the country.  I couldn't see this going well.

I did about the only thing I had been taught to do with cows, I got on the cows opposite side of my father-in-law and played basketball defense to keep it from getting past me.   Meanwhile my father-in-law roped it.  Easy enough, I thought, we're done.  

Nope.  F-I-L hands me the rope and says "Hold onto this while I go get my tractor."   So I stand there like the world biggest dork, holding a stupid looking cow with a tire around his neck on a rope.

20 minutes later my F-I-L putts back on his 1950s Ford tractor, takes the rope from me and drives into this little corral where he feeds the things.  I get to be gate man.  I'm working hard.

My F-I-L ties the loose end of the rope to the tractor and starts pulling out the slack and wrapping it around the back fender of the tractor until the cow is just five feet or so away from the tractor.   At this point he can just reach over and take the tire off.  Right?

No.  He reaches in and the cow goes mad and starts bucking and swinging its head like a bull in a rodeo.  And here's the thing that impressed me the most.  As she was bucking, she was jerking the tractor around the corral like it weighed about 50 lbs instead of 3000.

I backed up while my F-I-L fearlessly fought to remove the tire.  And he might've too.  Except that all the crazed mooing attracted all of the other cows, in particular this half-grown cow's momma, Becky, a ten year old longhorn with six foot from tip to tip horns.  Becky works her way through the stiles until she's in the corral with us where she inexplicably felt compelled to mount the younger cow.

Mass pandemonium.  I would've left right then but I just knew my father-in-law was going to get stomped to smithereens and I felt obligated to see it happen so I could call his name and politely wait for a response before running to call 9-1-1.

I did, however, back up the fence until I was sitting on it.  With my legs crossed.  I wasn't taking a tip of them horns where it hurt.

Somehow in the melee my father-in-law got tire off and everybody settled down for a minute.  I moved in to remove the tire cause I could just see somebody getting it stuck on their head again.  That's when my F-I-L moved in to loosen the rope from the cows neck.   Top cow fell off and stepped on my foot.  Fortunately the corral was muddy with something though it hadn't rained in weeks so my foot and flipflop went deep into the muck and nothing was broken but I didn't like it and my flipflop didn't come out with my foot and I was none too eager to put myself in the even more vulnerable and indefensible position of digging it out.  So I hobbled back to the fence where my wife and kids and mother-in-law and the old feller from across the road were standing.

Old feller said, "You lost a flipflop, boy."

I said, "yeah."

I asked my F-I-L what he was doing, he said, "Trying to get my rope."

I said "Cut the rope!"

"My oldest who was about four echoed, "Cut the rope!"

My second oldest who was about 18 months old yelled, "Cut the f----ing rope!"

Everybody just kind of stopped and pondered in stunned silence for a minute.

My F-I-L said, "It's good rope."

The old feller from across the road said, "You don't cut good rope."

I went home.  I had helped enough.
« Last Edit: January 08, 2019, 03:31:48 PM by CharleyHorse46 »

 

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