The B12 (XII) Forum, home of the 'Front Porch, y'all' at College Football Fan Site, CFB51!!!

i own the majority of a cow, from different donors, of course.  it's packed up in the freezer.  

camels are the dumbest of the dumb.  i can imagine an American Jersey attempting to discuss the mysteries of unrooted hay's sudden appearance with a camel and the camel just staring into space...

true story: i was in the cab of a five ton BS'n with a buddy while we were staged on a patrol... there was a guy in the bed, sitting on the flip down troop bench at the back of that thing.  he was known for being less than intelligent, but was genuinely a good guy.  Some kid was herding the camels from one side of the road to the other and for reasons unknown decided to do so where we were staged.  The majority of the camels passed between the 5 ton and the 'follow' humvee immediately behind with maybe a 30 foot gap... one of the camels stops dead cold and this guy and it commence to a staring contest...

my buddy and i are watching, but this guy doesn't know it.  

after a few seconds he reaches to his chest and unclips his pepper spray/CS dispenser, casually adjusts the nozzle of it, looks at the camel and back to the sprayer and gives one more adjustment... looks at the camel as he extends his arm in aim- pauses, slightly shifting his arm to the side and lowering it as if giving the camel 'one more chance', and then sprays the thing dead in the face....

the camel hardly moves for a second or two, and then slightly shakes its head... it then reared its head back and whips it forward, not only spitting but launching that nasty pepper-spray/CS laced wad of crap straight into this guys face.  

at this point me and my buddy in the cab are biting our lips to keep from laughing out loud and spoiling the scene.  

the guy on the back looks the the camel a second too long, then attends to reattaching the canister of spray back on his gear as if nothing happened.. .once that was accomplished he takes to wiping his face- but not before turning to look at us (no doubt to see if anyone had seen the incident) and that is when we lost it altogether... that crpa all over him was just too much...

years later we still call this the 'meeting of the minds'... the guy who was spit on died about  20 years ago now... he got out of the Marine Corps and went to school in Arizona- where he was murdered by his room mate who apparently had some bad chemical dependencies and was prone to flipping out.  Shot him in his sleep.

there is another tale of another guy who currently lives in Oklahoma where a camel in the road was less than decisive on which direction to go to get out of the way, and it started doing some funky high stepping which looked like a hackney horse doing jane fonda aerobics in the middle of the road... it looked like it finally decided to go left, and this guy went to drive by on the right when the camel changed its mind... this guy was driving a 'limo', which was a class 7 armored suburban... we had to explain to the DSS agents why the Ambassador's new 'limo' had a dent in the size and dimensions of a camels foot.... but it ended up he laughed too.  

i wish like hell i could have both of these incidents on film... they rank up there with the funniest things i've ever witnessed.  damn camels- they are dumb...

I liked these stories!

You're very kind, Gig'em.

You know... my second oldest son is 20 now and he still cusses like a sailor.  Only one in the family who cusses but he's been doing it since he was a baby.

Oh well.  Could be worse. He's a good kid.

It was good seeing you and mini-Phil at Crazy Eyes in the ATX.   Always a pleasure to see you.  You’re a good guy.  I like the way you talk. That midwestern choice of phrases reminds me of Fargo.  Heck I even enjoyed hearing you share a piece of your ideological point of view even though I’m on the complete other side of the ideological spectrum.  It was civil, it was human, it was reasonable.  We should be senators.

Just saw UT finished the year ranked 8th

Not bad for a 4 loss team

In fact I dont remember a 4 loss team being in the top 10 ever

oh well stuff happens when thay love ya

Auburn finished 10-4 and was ranked AP #10 just last year, 320.  But I think that's the only other time.

really wow Id of lost that bar bet

Just saw UT finished the year ranked 8th

Not bad for a 4 loss team

In fact I dont remember a 4 loss team being in the top 10 ever

oh well stuff happens when thay love ya

Utee has always enjoyed rooting for a "helmet"