The B12 (XII) Forum, home of the 'Front Porch, y'all' at College Football Fan Site, CFB51!!!

my experience with cattle is they put their butts to the wind

wind predominantly out of the West???

dogs on the other hand like their nose into the wind

so, do cattle just do this to keep the coyotes and wolves from sneaking up on them? 

Studies show dogs circle around before pooping to align themselves with the earth gravitational field.
 
I guess they want to make sure it’s going to fall away from them.

how bout these dogs 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ryab_hafcmk

I'm relieved that she laughs about it

That's effective advertising.

Ever find yourself singing jingles in the grocery store like when you see Armour hotdogs or a can of Libbey's vegetables?

Young moms are unimpressed with the whole fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks thing.  To impress those people I have sing the theme to Love Boat in a loud clear voice like Domenico Modungo singing Volare.  (Or Nel Blu Dipinto Di Blu as we like to say).  If that doesn't get their attention, I can always juggle a cantalope, a bell pepper and a carton of 18 eggs.

So, on the op, I found a random list of why's (pruned because some of them were really dumb or obvious, and some of these may be too but oh well):

• Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?
• Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?
• Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you?
• Why do we drive on the parkway and park on the driveway?
• Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts?
• Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground?
• Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are?
• Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
• Why do they call someone "late" if they died early?
• Why are red buttons always the most important?
• Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit?
• Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man?
• Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.
• Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head?
• Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT"
• Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"?
• Why are dandelions considered weeds when daisies are considered flowers?
• Why do black lights look purple?
• Why is it that people duck in the rain, do they really think the rain won't hit them?
• Why isn't the caps lock capitalized?
• Why is there no pine or apple in pineapple?
• Why do they put holes in crackers?
• Why can the saying "it's all downhill from here." mean both that it will be easy and that it is going to get worse?
• Why do we have to pay a toll on "freeways"?
• Why is shampoo clear but conditioner not?
• Why do mattresses have designs on them when they're always covered with sheets?
• Why is most lunchmeat bigger than the bread?
• Why is it that whenever you sing to the radio, your voice is higher? Even when you have a low voice?
• Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
• Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
• Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
• Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
• Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
• Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?
• Why does Goofy live in a house and Pluto in a dog house if there both dogs?
• Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
• Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"?
• Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?
• Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
• Why is a pair of underwear one item?
• Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
• Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
• Why do women wear evening gowns to go out at night? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?
• Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

I had forgotten his name was Otter.  Last year or the year before, I was at the zoo in Alexandria, Louisiana and I remarked to anyone who would listen that otters were cute little critters.  A woman who was standing there, turned towards me and trembling with emotion she said, "You wouldn't say that if you were a baby seal."

I was so surprised I googled sea otters and baby seals.

Terrible, heinous, inexcusable.  

But actually it's just the beginning of a lurid cycle as seals do unto penguins as otters hath done unto them.

And penguins of course are necrophiliacs.