I find the issue is the "hit impulse".
With my irons on approach shots, I know that I want to hit the ball a specific distance and that's *not* as far as I can hit them if I swing all out. I.e. on the range I can add a club and a half to my 8i with more effort, but why would I try? So I'm taking a nice controlled swing and the ball just happens to be in the way.
Sometimes with driver, or even with taking less club off the tee, I'm trying to "get it out there"--meaning I take my backswing, get to the top, and my brain goes into KILL KILL KILL mode. Because I'm thinking about distance rather than target. I'm trying to hit the ball rather than trying to swing well and have the ball just happen to be in the way.
When I get into the proper mentality with driver, and take a nice swing with the ball happening to get into the way, everything works SO much more nicely, and I find the ball goes a long way as it should.
Let the club do the work.
Also--be aware of shaft weight... There's a huge trend to go to lighter shafts in drivers, which is fine unless it throws off your tempo. I use 115g shafts in my irons at a bit of a heavy swing weight as they're over-length. I use 70g in driver even though I could go buy a driver with a 50g or even 40g shaft. But if I don't feel the weight, it feels like I'm swinging air and just feels "wrong". Back in the early days of graphite (late 90s) I didn't think I *could* make a graphite driver work because I was used to a steel-shafted driver and everything graphite was ultra-lightweight. But now they have better options. So you may be fighting against your equipment.