HOAs seem to be more a characteristic of residential areas with higher housing prices. These areas can have amenities like pools and tennis courts, or at least some common landscaping areas, that require funding.
I grew up in residential areas that had none of the above. I'm sure one can avoid HOAs easily enough and rely on local zoning ordinances unless one wants to live in a half million dollar house, and up.
With condos, it's inherent of course.
I grew up in Austin and the city has many public pools and a good bit of parkland. As you might expect in a city metro area of over a million people, it all gets very crowded at the most desirable times.
Our HOA has two pools and three parks including tennis courts, basketball courts, large modern childrens' playscapes, etc. They also maintain other large areas of common green space (avenues, running paths, access to the greenbelt/preserve surrounding the neighborhood.). None of those amenities are ever overly crowded.
Paying extra for a premium experience is about as American as it gets. Sounds like some folks have had problems with their HOA committees and that would totally suck. Ours has been great, and I'm happy to be a part of it.
There are definitely rules about permissible paint colors for my house, and I'm fine with that, I knew all of that when I moved in. I always have the choice NOT to live in an area with an HOA, where I could paint my front door whatever color I wanted.
There are other rules all designed to maintain the cleanliness and orderliness of the neighborhood, and I'm fine with all of those, too. Again, I had a choice to live in areas where such covenants and restrictions aren't in place. I did it, too, for the first 35 years of my life. Having neighbors that literally had cars on blocks in their front yards became something I didn't want anymore, and I made a choice for change.