Even More Humor
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Topic: Even More Humor

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DunkingDan

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Even More Humor
« on: February 04, 2019, 04:37:33 PM »
Still true today

« Last Edit: February 04, 2019, 04:46:18 PM by DunkingDan »


President Harry S. Truman said: “The fundamental basis of this nation’s laws was given to Moses on the Mount.  The fundamental basis of our Bill of Rights comes from the teachings…  If we don't have the proper fundamental moral background, we will finally wind up with a totalitarian government which does not believe in rights for anybody except the state.”

Cincydawg

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #1 on: February 04, 2019, 04:47:28 PM »
The "notion" of course is that the wealthy will pay for "it".  Anyone who runs the numbers can figure out what is reality quickly enough, but few bother.

"Don't tax you and don't tax me, tax that feller up under the tree."


DunkingDan

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #2 on: February 04, 2019, 05:16:18 PM »
President Harry S. Truman said: “The fundamental basis of this nation’s laws was given to Moses on the Mount.  The fundamental basis of our Bill of Rights comes from the teachings…  If we don't have the proper fundamental moral background, we will finally wind up with a totalitarian government which does not believe in rights for anybody except the state.”

P1tchBlack

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #3 on: February 04, 2019, 07:10:57 PM »
^^^Cats are dicks^^^

A poster on another forum asked a question about how to relocate feral cats. I suggested a wood chipper and was given a two-week suspension.

Totally worth it.

TREX

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #4 on: February 04, 2019, 07:24:16 PM »
^^^Cats are dicks^^^

A poster on another forum asked a question about how to relocate feral cats. I suggested a wood chipper and was given a two-week suspension.

Totally worth it.
Yep

gymvol

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #5 on: February 05, 2019, 10:22:22 AM »



Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down at the bar next to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and stared up at the TV as the 10 o'clock news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building, preparing to jump.
 
 Alexandria looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?" Jack said, "You know what, I bet he will." Alexandria replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!”
 
 Just as she placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. She was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."
 
 Jack replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
 
 Alexandria replied, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."
 
 Jack took the money and Alexandria went back to work in the U.S. Congress.


 


DunkingDan

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #6 on: February 05, 2019, 05:51:23 PM »
President Harry S. Truman said: “The fundamental basis of this nation’s laws was given to Moses on the Mount.  The fundamental basis of our Bill of Rights comes from the teachings…  If we don't have the proper fundamental moral background, we will finally wind up with a totalitarian government which does not believe in rights for anybody except the state.”

DunkingDan

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #7 on: February 05, 2019, 06:05:59 PM »
President Harry S. Truman said: “The fundamental basis of this nation’s laws was given to Moses on the Mount.  The fundamental basis of our Bill of Rights comes from the teachings…  If we don't have the proper fundamental moral background, we will finally wind up with a totalitarian government which does not believe in rights for anybody except the state.”

DunkingDan

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #8 on: February 05, 2019, 07:02:45 PM »
President Harry S. Truman said: “The fundamental basis of this nation’s laws was given to Moses on the Mount.  The fundamental basis of our Bill of Rights comes from the teachings…  If we don't have the proper fundamental moral background, we will finally wind up with a totalitarian government which does not believe in rights for anybody except the state.”

DunkingDan

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #9 on: February 05, 2019, 07:30:17 PM »
President Harry S. Truman said: “The fundamental basis of this nation’s laws was given to Moses on the Mount.  The fundamental basis of our Bill of Rights comes from the teachings…  If we don't have the proper fundamental moral background, we will finally wind up with a totalitarian government which does not believe in rights for anybody except the state.”

DunkingDan

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #10 on: February 06, 2019, 03:51:30 PM »
President Harry S. Truman said: “The fundamental basis of this nation’s laws was given to Moses on the Mount.  The fundamental basis of our Bill of Rights comes from the teachings…  If we don't have the proper fundamental moral background, we will finally wind up with a totalitarian government which does not believe in rights for anybody except the state.”

DunkingDan

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #11 on: February 06, 2019, 04:53:32 PM »
President Harry S. Truman said: “The fundamental basis of this nation’s laws was given to Moses on the Mount.  The fundamental basis of our Bill of Rights comes from the teachings…  If we don't have the proper fundamental moral background, we will finally wind up with a totalitarian government which does not believe in rights for anybody except the state.”

gymvol

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #12 on: February 07, 2019, 12:17:57 AM »




DunkingDan

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #13 on: February 07, 2019, 06:29:31 PM »
President Harry S. Truman said: “The fundamental basis of this nation’s laws was given to Moses on the Mount.  The fundamental basis of our Bill of Rights comes from the teachings…  If we don't have the proper fundamental moral background, we will finally wind up with a totalitarian government which does not believe in rights for anybody except the state.”

DunkingDan

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #14 on: February 08, 2019, 08:35:59 PM »
President Harry S. Truman said: “The fundamental basis of this nation’s laws was given to Moses on the Mount.  The fundamental basis of our Bill of Rights comes from the teachings…  If we don't have the proper fundamental moral background, we will finally wind up with a totalitarian government which does not believe in rights for anybody except the state.”

gymvol

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #15 on: February 08, 2019, 11:21:38 PM »



Suddenly, a cow runs out onto the road, and a limo driving late at night, hits it head on, and the car comes to a stop. The woman in the backseat, in her usual abrasive manner, says to the Chauffeur, "You get out and check on that poor cow. You were driving."

So the chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead, but it appeared to be very old.

Well, says the woman, "You were driving, so you go and tell the farmer in that lighted farmhouse over there." Two hours later the chauffeur returns totally inebriated, a full belly, his hair ruffled, and a big grin on his face. "My God, what happened to you?" asks the nasty woman.

The chauffeur replies, "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of single malt scotch, the wife gave me a meal fit for a king, and the daughter made love to me." 
 
"What on earth did you say?" asks the woman.
 
Well, I just knocked on the door, and when it opened, I said to them, 


"I'm Nancy Pelosi's chauffeur, and I've just killed the old cow." 

 

Don't you just love a story with a happy ending?


gymvol

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #16 on: February 09, 2019, 09:58:41 AM »


Man and his wife who weren’t well educated move from the country into a small city so he can find work in a factory.

She gets sick and has to go to a doctor.  When the husband gets home from work he asked about the doctor visit.

She said “Well it went okay he gave me some pills to take then told me to come back next week and bring a urine sample.”  “I didn’t want to sound like a dummy and was afraid to ask the doctor but what’s a urine sample”?

The husband answered “Beats me I don’t know all this big city stuff go next door and asked the neighbor woman she’s lived here all her life she’ll know”.

Next day the husband comes home from work the wife’s got a black eye, her lip is cut and swollen, her dress is torn he takes one and asked “what the heck happened to you today did you fall off the porch today?"

She said “No, I did like you said I went next door asked the woman what a urine sample was and she told me to go piss in a jar so I told her to go shit in a sack and one word led to another”?

DunkingDan

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #17 on: February 09, 2019, 04:23:18 PM »
A little old lady went to the grocery store and put the most expensive cat food in her basket. She then went to the check out counter where she told the check out girl, "Nothing but the best for my little kitten."
The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat."
The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food.
 The next day, the old lady went to the store and bought 12 of the most expensive dog cookies - one for each day of Christmas. The cashier this time demanded proof that she now had a dog, claiming that old people sometimes eat dog food. Frustrated she went home, came back and brought in her dog. She was then given the dog cookies.
 The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there." The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would bite her. So the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled it out and told the little old lady, "That smells like crap."
 The little old lady grinned from ear to ear, "Now, my dear, can I please buy three rolls of toilet paper?"
 Never fool around with a Little old lady!
President Harry S. Truman said: “The fundamental basis of this nation’s laws was given to Moses on the Mount.  The fundamental basis of our Bill of Rights comes from the teachings…  If we don't have the proper fundamental moral background, we will finally wind up with a totalitarian government which does not believe in rights for anybody except the state.”

DunkingDan

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #18 on: February 09, 2019, 05:15:09 PM »
President Harry S. Truman said: “The fundamental basis of this nation’s laws was given to Moses on the Mount.  The fundamental basis of our Bill of Rights comes from the teachings…  If we don't have the proper fundamental moral background, we will finally wind up with a totalitarian government which does not believe in rights for anybody except the state.”

HK_Vol

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #19 on: February 12, 2019, 02:22:45 AM »

ATexasVol

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #20 on: February 12, 2019, 02:13:48 PM »

DunkingDan

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #21 on: February 12, 2019, 03:40:50 PM »
President Harry S. Truman said: “The fundamental basis of this nation’s laws was given to Moses on the Mount.  The fundamental basis of our Bill of Rights comes from the teachings…  If we don't have the proper fundamental moral background, we will finally wind up with a totalitarian government which does not believe in rights for anybody except the state.”

harvestalvol

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #22 on: February 12, 2019, 09:51:10 PM »

harvestalvol

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #23 on: February 12, 2019, 09:53:34 PM »

harvestalvol

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #24 on: February 12, 2019, 09:59:57 PM »

HK_Vol

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ATexasVol

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #26 on: February 13, 2019, 10:32:51 AM »

DunkingDan

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #27 on: February 13, 2019, 01:14:42 PM »
President Harry S. Truman said: “The fundamental basis of this nation’s laws was given to Moses on the Mount.  The fundamental basis of our Bill of Rights comes from the teachings…  If we don't have the proper fundamental moral background, we will finally wind up with a totalitarian government which does not believe in rights for anybody except the state.”

HK_Vol

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #28 on: February 14, 2019, 02:09:32 AM »

HK_Vol

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Re: Even More Humor
« Reply #29 on: February 14, 2019, 02:22:28 AM »

 

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