OT- Dressing Up

[Kris60]

I thought this might be a half way interesting off season topic.  My wife recently attended the funeral of a guy who used to serve on the board of the clinic where she works.  When she got back she was telling me about the number of people who were there wearing jeans, sneakers, baseball hats, etc.

It’s a trend we had started noticing a couple of years ago when the church we were attending at the time would frequently have people in cargo shorts, tee shirts, and flip flops.   The question we had was what occasion these days is important enough to dress up for?  Because it seems like those occasions are fewer and fewer.

Now, before anyone gets the wrong impression I’m not snobbish or trying to impress anyone or anything like that. I understand not everyone has dress clothes.  I also understand sometimes a tight schedule prevents someone from changing before they attend a formal event like church, wedding, funeral, etc.  I’m fine with that.  I’d rather someone go to church in shorts than not attend.  But if you have the clothes and the time to change is it a sign of disrespect to attend in casual attire?

[ELA]

I think church is very casual.  I don't think I've seen people underdressed at any wedding or funeral I've been to though.

I will say, we used to live across the street from a cemetery right after law school, and when I was home job searching, I saw several people wear Steelers jerseys to funerals.  Granted, they were classy, home blacks, not road whites, as is custom.  But I've never seen any adult male not in a suit at a wedding or funeral I've been to.

[SFBadger96]

Interesting topic.

I work in a "business casual" environment; this field was not business casual when I was a kid. Nor was church.
At work, we are trending even less formal. The younger people with real job security already wear jeans (or something close to that) up to 50% of the time. For people with less job security, it's still probably about 20% (outside of casual Friday, which is really just "jeans" Friday). I wish we would go to jeans whenever. There's no reason we need to be more dressed than that on a regular basis. But shorts and t-shirts would be too far.

In general I like the change toward more casual, but respect for where you are still matters. 

For me, church has become business casual, and I like it--but not for a funeral (or a wedding). My version of God doesn't care if I'm wearing a tie, but I think I should show some modicum of respect. For a funeral, I don't think anything less than a dark suit is appropriate. For a wedding, if it is at a church, a suit is required.

For people who truly don't have a choice, wear whatever they have, but if you have a choice, church (and government buildings) require something that shows respect.

[MarqHusker]

A funeral for one of my child hood friends' father was fairly casual.  His Dad was involved in some not so nice activity, and hung around some questionable characters, it was full of jeans, leather, some skin, bandanas hats etc.

Weddings,  I've seen it all, both by design, and just poor taste by the guest.

[SFBadger96]

Yeah, weddings are all over the place, but I think as long as it is in keeping with the couple getting married, you're good. But if they are in a church, chances are a suit is appropriate.

[Kris60]

I think church is very casual.  I don't think I've seen people underdressed at any wedding or funeral I've been to though.

I will say, we used to live across the street from a cemetery right after law school, and when I was home job searching, I saw several people wear Steelers jerseys to funerals.  Granted, they were classy, home blacks, not road whites, as is custom.  But I've never seen any adult male not in a suit at a wedding or funeral I've been to.

I would say the last few funerals I’ve attended there are as many men not in suits than in suits.  A few jeans and a lot of khakis, cargo pants, polos, sweaters, stuff like that.  And at the risk of sounding hypocritical I rarely wear a tie to church.  I wear dress pants with a pullover or button down or something like that.
I could never bring myself to go to a church service in cargo shorts and flip flops though and the church we attended for a while had a lot of people do that.  

[Kris60]

Interesting topic.

I work in a "business casual" environment; this field was not business casual when I was a kid. Nor was church.
At work, we are trending even less formal. The younger people with real job security already wear jeans (or something close to that) up to 50% of the time. For people with less job security, it's still probably about 20% (outside of casual Friday, which is really just "jeans" Friday). I wish we would go to jeans whenever. There's no reason we need to be more dressed than that on a regular basis. But shorts and t-shirts would be too far.

In general I like the change toward more casual, but respect for where you are still matters.

For me, church has become business casual, and I like it--but not for a funeral (or a wedding). My version of God doesn't care if I'm wearing a tie, but I think I should show some modicum of respect. For a funeral, I don't think anything less than a dark suit is appropriate. For a wedding, if it is at a church, a suit is required.

For people who truly don't have a choice, wear whatever they have, but if you have a choice, church (and government buildings) require something that shows respect.

Yes to everything you said.  That’s basically how I feel.

[betarhoalphadelta]

I think a funeral should be formal. For a wedding the default is a suit, unless the hosts officially declare otherwise. Which is becoming more and more common, and I applaud that, but the default is a suit. 

Beyond those, I find almost no reason to ever wear anything beyond jeans. Now, I'm not talking ratty jeans with a brewery t-shirt and flip flops... For a more "dressy" occasion it'll typically be dark denim [not black], a button-down shirt [long or short sleeve depending on the occasion] or a polo, and proper black or brown shoes. 

In general, though, things are a LOT less formal here on the West Coast... Some of what is commonplace here would be seen as too casual in some areas back East...

[MrNubbz]

Be respectful,tidy and clean and you're good IMO.Had to attend a funeral friday I wore a suit/tie - that took me a half hour to knot.Just found out a retired co-worker passed away last nite.So I'm attending another funeral in the next week

[Drew4UTk]

every day of my life i wear 5.11 tactical pants... T-shirts on days off, and one of my (what I tell people) $1200 shirts (which is to say 12 of them for $100).  

I can't imagine not wearing a suit to a funeral.  every man should own at least one suit, and if only one it should be black or dark gray- for that purpose.  

what is killing me is the current fashion to wear what amounts to sneakers with suits... wha?  just like in the military, much can be told about a person by the way they maintain their footwear- there is no replacement for polished leather. 

eh... it's a peeve... I'll shut up now. 

[MarqHusker]

I wish we could keep women from wearing Yoga pants all over public.  It isn't hot and it isn't sexy, it looks ridiculous when you've got a 'normal ' top on, a jacket and your fancy handbag .  

[JerseyTerrapin]

I often wonder about that, too.  I'd need Medina to do a spreadsheet, but sometimes I look at the formal-to-casual rate over my lifetime and wonder what people will be wearing in twenty years.

I'd hate to think I'm snobbish, but somehow it bothers me to see people show up at a hotel breakfast bar with bedhead, nasty shirt, gigantic basketball shorts and flip-flops.  I guess I am some kind of snob, actually, huh?

[WhiskeyM]

I wish we could keep women from wearing Yoga pants all over public.  It isn't hot and it isn't sexy, it looks ridiculous when you've got a 'normal ' top on, a jacket and your fancy handbag .  

Lol, this is funny.  You almost had me for a second.

[Roaddawg]

Just attended a funeral my friend of 30 years older brother, who passed, and the attire was told to be casual dressed, NO shirt and tie.  The only ones wearing a tie wear the funeral home people. The reasoning was that his brother was a jeans/Harley shirt guy, who worked for 25 years as a plumber.  He would not wear formal attire and would not expect it to be at his service.  Fully understand cases like this, but in other areas, like the church I grew up with, has shifted to the shorts/flip flop wardrobe, and I am not a huge fan of the dress down movement.  After wearing a uniform for 20 years and jeans and work shirt attire now, I do not mind the chance to pull out a tie when I can, even thought it may be 10 years out of style!