OT- Dressing Up

[medinabuckeye1]

Where I work I wear a suit four days a week (casual Fridays being the exception).  

When you guys talk about a funeral, are you talking the actual funeral service or the calling hours?  I do make a distinction there.  Since I wear a suit every day anyway if it is a weekday evening I'll usually just go in my suit (obviously) but if it is a Saturday I'll dress down a little for calling hours.  However, if I'm actually going to the funeral service I'll wear a suit without question.  

[UT-Erin03]

The last funeral I attended was for the husband-type's late grandma, who he had actually been estranged from since I have known him, but we went out of family respect.  He wore a suit but that's mostly because we had just bought him a new suit less than 8 months before that for my sister's wedding (he didn't have any suits that fit, and mostly wore khaki pants to other funerals/weddings with button down shirts).  He was working as a HS soccer coach for over two decades and never wore suits, not even for sports banquets at the schools since jeans were OK for those events (which is the most formal it got in his profession).     If he had not had the suit already, I could see him wearing his khaki pants before jeans to the funeral, although there were some other folks in attendance wearing jeans to the service/burial of his grandma.    

I remember as a kid when people dressed semi-nicely, or at least not in PJ's, to fly somewhere but nowadays on planes it seems like most of the females are dressed for bedtime.  
I've definitely noticed the sneakers with suits thing, which always looks really funny to me, too.  But then I'm also aware that those sneakers are probably more $$ than most mens loafers so I figure it's more of an attention-seeking ploy rather than a fashion statement, but who knows anymore... 

Part of me is content with the dress-down trend overall, since comfort is nice and the pressure to meet high expectations with regard to appearances is lowered, but I still think there's a time & place to put the extra effort in and wear something respectable (especially at things like weddings when you may be in photos) and agree it can be disrespectful to look just like any other day unless instructed otherwise for formal/special events. 

Sometimes it feels like this may be an American thing, but I will say that I've noticed a little change in people's clothes in Europe in a decade span of time.  The first time I went in 2003, I noticed there were not a lot of locals wearing sneakers around town (mostly sandals, boots, loafers) and the people that were wearing sneakers were definitely American when I heard them speak.    This past time I went in 2016, I was even in the same city as the first time, and noticed it has shifted and so many people were walking around in Pumas, Adidas, and other sneakers now, not just tourists, even the local women.     So either sneakers are now fashionable and acceptable with suits and I just need to get with the times, or maybe there is an overall global trend to dress more casually than the older generations.  

[Geolion91]

For people who truly don't have a choice, wear whatever they have, but if you have a choice, church (and government buildings) require something that shows respect.

I have to laugh at the government building part.  I work for the Federal Government.  My office is generally business casual, but being a geologist, jeans is generally acceptable.  The engineers are happy that our jeans aren't covered in dirt.  I usually wear khakis with a golf shirt or colorful button up, but I'll wear jeans when the weather sucks and I don't have any big meetings.  There have been a few instances where an employee had a talking to by their supervisor if they got a little too casual.
As for weddings and funerals, it varies with the people involved.  My in-laws are fairly rural and those events usually top out with a button up shirt and good jeans.

[rolltidefan]

Interesting topic.

I work in a "business casual" environment; this field was not business casual when I was a kid. Nor was church.
At work, we are trending even less formal. The younger people with real job security already wear jeans (or something close to that) up to 50% of the time. For people with less job security, it's still probably about 20% (outside of casual Friday, which is really just "jeans" Friday). I wish we would go to jeans whenever. There's no reason we need to be more dressed than that on a regular basis. But shorts and t-shirts would be too far.

In general I like the change toward more casual, but respect for where you are still matters.

For me, church has become business casual, and I like it--but not for a funeral (or a wedding). My version of God doesn't care if I'm wearing a tie, but I think I should show some modicum of respect. For a funeral, I don't think anything less than a dark suit is appropriate. For a wedding, if it is at a church, a suit is required.

For people who truly don't have a choice, wear whatever they have, but if you have a choice, church (and government buildings) require something that shows respect.

i'm similar, but a little different.
at work it was suit/tie when i first started. now it's business casual, khakis and polo 90% of time. it's transformed over the last 10-15 years, and i couldn't be happier. when i have clients or going to a clients office, i'll do slacks and a button down, maybe a suit on occasion, but if i'm just in office without expecting clients, it's typically khakis and polo.
i'm similar for church, and i completely understand and don't disagree with the respect idea, but we try to keep it very casual. it's supposed to be come as you are, not get fixed up and then come. our volunteers (greeters/sound team/childrens ministry, etc) on sunday are in t-shirts that the church gives them for this very reason. we are located in a poor part of town and have frequent visitors from that area stop in on a random sunday, so we want them to feel comfortable coming in whatever they have.
as for funerals, i've only been to one not in a suit or close to it. and that one was for a friend who would have been pissed we got dressed like that for him. so we all dressed down based on what we believe he would have wanted. that weekend is one of the best/most awful memories i have.

[huskerdinie]

I guess I was lucky in the sense that almost all of my jobs since high school were either hospital or other medical settings where I wore scrubs, or fast - food places where I had to wear black jeans and the uniform top.  I did spend five years working for the state and it was business casual there so I wore slacks and a nice top or sweater.  Church was the only place I wore a dress or skirt and I can still remember the hullabaloo when my grandmother first wore dress slacks to church in the 90's.  

I don't even own a black dress anymore and the last funeral I attended was my father's in 2011 (in December) so it was slacks and a dark sweater which nobody could see anyway at the graveside since we were all bundled up in winter gear.  I still felt guilty about not wearing a black dress.  Just the way I raised - dresses for church and weddings / funerals.  

Now that I am retired, I only own jeans and t-shirts with some sweaters or sweatshirts.  You all have reminded me that I need to go get new clothes to wear when we go out for our anniversary dinner; although after 33 years, my hubby would faint if I wore a dress, lol.  Besides, then I'd have to buy new shoes, earrings, etc.  Cheaper to stay home and cook, lol. 

[UT-Erin03]

I guess I was lucky in the sense that almost all of my jobs since high school were either hospital or other medical settings where I wore scrubs, or fast - food places where I had to wear black jeans and the uniform top.  I did spend five years working for the state and it was business casual there so I wore slacks and a nice top or sweater.  Church was the only place I wore a dress or skirt and I can still remember the hullabaloo when my grandmother first wore dress slacks to church in the 90's.  

I don't even own a black dress anymore and the last funeral I attended was my father's in 2011 (in December) so it was slacks and a dark sweater which nobody could see anyway at the graveside since we were all bundled up in winter gear.  I still felt guilty about not wearing a black dress.  Just the way I raised - dresses for church and weddings / funerals.  

Now that I am retired, I only own jeans and t-shirts with some sweaters or sweatshirts.  You all have reminded me that I need to go get new clothes to wear when we go out for our anniversary dinner; although after 33 years, my hubby would faint if I wore a dress, lol.  Besides, then I'd have to buy new shoes, earrings, etc.  Cheaper to stay home and cook, lol.

Well, I personally feel more comfy in dresses than jeans, but it could be because I live somewhere where 100+ degree days are a regular occurrence. 
Happy (upcoming) anniversary - 33 years is wonderful!         There's always RentTheRunway for dresses you don't want to buy, which is a good option for looking smashing on a low-budget and then not having to keep a fancy dress in the closet that never gets worn again. 

[Drew4UTk]

I guess I was lucky in the sense that almost all of my jobs since high school were either hospital or other medical settings where I wore scrubs, or fast - food places where I had to wear black jeans and the uniform top.  I did spend five years working for the state and it was business casual there so I wore slacks and a nice top or sweater.  Church was the only place I wore a dress or skirt and I can still remember the hullabaloo when my grandmother first wore dress slacks to church in the 90's.  

I don't even own a black dress anymore and the last funeral I attended was my father's in 2011 (in December) so it was slacks and a dark sweater which nobody could see anyway at the graveside since we were all bundled up in winter gear.  I still felt guilty about not wearing a black dress.  Just the way I raised - dresses for church and weddings / funerals.  

Now that I am retired, I only own jeans and t-shirts with some sweaters or sweatshirts.  You all have reminded me that I need to go get new clothes to wear when we go out for our anniversary dinner; although after 33 years, my hubby would faint if I wore a dress, lol.  Besides, then I'd have to buy new shoes, earrings, etc.  Cheaper to stay home and cook, lol.

you remind me of a very valuable lesson i learned about $15k ago... 
My wife an I aren't wealthy... we're not affluent... we are as middle class as they come... however, when we want something we can generally get it without much problem or argument- she trusts me and i trust her, and if she spends it isn't a big deal at all... until one day. 
she asked me one evening if i minded her buying new dishes... i thought it a strange question, but then recalled seeing the price on some of those sets, so i braced myself and asked how much?  She told me and it wasn't shocking at all.... so I told her "babes, if that's what you want...." with authority and if i was telling her to buy a vacation home in Aspen or something... little did I know. 

new dishes require matching cabinets... new cabinets require matching counter tops.. new granite counter tops require matching flooring... flooring requires matching wall paint.. 

I asked her if she maybe should have warned me about the crew who showed up to do this (and who destroyed the ceramic tile floor i spent weekends and nights of an entire winter of my single life installing, along with the ceramic counters) and she looks me dead in the eye, pausing only slightly from whatever she was doing, and says matter-of-factly "you said I could get new dishes".... 

ahh... 

lesson

learned.  

I revisited this dynamic a few weeks later when i asked her if she minded "can i get a new serpentine belt for the truck?"... but it didn't work the same in reverse... she promptly asked "what, are you building another engine or something?".... truth is i was only intent on installing a whipple twin screw supercharger, but... it was proof of the guise in my opinion... 

gents, beware.  

by the way, it's dang fine to see you lady's around again!!!!!  

[MarqHusker]

Somehow I've been summoned for jury duty tomorrow.   I take it nobody reviewed my questionnaire yet  (former prosecutor and defense atty briefly).  I'll report my findings on modern day jury attire.

[Geolion91]

Well, I personally feel more comfy in dresses than jeans,

I know what you mean....
Did I say that out loud?

[SFBadger96]

Somehow I've been summoned for jury duty tomorrow.   I take it nobody reviewed my questionnaire yet  (former prosecutor and defense atty briefly).  I'll report my findings on modern day jury attire.

I'm betting on pajamas and t-shirts...except the people who are hoping to be dismissed immediately so they can get right back to work. I'm always a little annoyed at the way many people in the jury pools dress.

[UT-Erin03]

Oooh, I did have jury duty in July last year.   There were people in Tshirts & jeans for sure, and it was a hot day and I remember seeing a couple of people in hoodies for some reason as well.    There may have been some shorts, but I remember more long jeans than any shorts. 
I can't remember specifically what I was wearing but I didn't get chosen for a panel & was dressed for work and did end up going from courthouse to work so it must have been some business-casual attire.  

[fezzador]

Business casual seems to be the theme for jury duty.  Maybe one or two people on it wore a shirt and tie.

[MrNubbz]

I'm always a little annoyed at the way many people in the jury pools dress.

I've been called for jury duty for 3 x in 20 yrs.Yet I talk to to others my age who have never been called once.They don't vote and I do which is BS specially with todays technology.If court systems would use the driver license pool instead of the voting pool there would be many more jurors to pick.This is no small inconvenience for me.I take a rapid transit downtown from the burbs.Then walk another 3/4 mile from the station to the court house.I wear nice jeans and tops,still there is an effort getting there so they should be happy if I'm wearing a fig leaf.Not sure why I haven't been called for any of the suburban court houses but I haven't.

[utee94]

I haven't owned a suit in years.  Last one i bought was for presentations and interviews whilst in MBA school.  It might still fit, I have no idea.

For "dress-up" I tend to wear khakis and a button-down, or a pair of navy blue or gray slacks I own.  I have a couple of sportcoats and ties I might wear with that if I really felt compelled, but rarely do.

At work I wear mostly jeans.  So does my Director.  So does my VP, unless he's meeting with Michael that day or something.

Unfortunately I will likely be attending my first funeral in ages in the coming weeks. I feel like a dark suit is appropriate for that, so I guess I'll be shopping for that.