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Topic: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition

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Gigem

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #120 on: January 08, 2019, 01:27:51 PM »
JCG over the years you've told a lot of stories but the one that stood out to me about cows was how if PETA people really owned cows they would have no trouble eating them.  They are indeed a stupid animal.  I unfortunately own about 6 on 20 acres myself and deal with the headaches weekly.  

longhorn320

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #121 on: January 08, 2019, 02:37:57 PM »
JCG over the years you've told a lot of stories but the one that stood out to me about cows was how if PETA people really owned cows they would have no trouble eating them.  They are indeed a stupid animal.  I unfortunately own about 6 on 20 acres myself and deal with the headaches weekly.  
so its not true that youre all hat and no cattle 
They won't let me give blood anymore. The burnt orange color scares the hell out of the doctors.

CharleyHorse46

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #122 on: January 08, 2019, 02:42:09 PM »
JCG over the years you've told a lot of stories but the one that stood out to me about cows was how if PETA people really owned cows they would have no trouble eating them.  They are indeed a stupid animal.  I unfortunately own about 6 on 20 acres myself and deal with the headaches weekly.  
Yep.  Tis true, IMO.
To increase my net as a single guy in the ATX, I had become a vegetarian simply because meat-eating girls were generally not as opposed to vegetarian guys as vegetarian girls were to meat-eating guys.  
My i s c & a w was vegetarian too.  Many young women naturally gravitate that way.  Probably for a very specific health, digestion or hygiene advantage but I'm not curious enough to speculate what that might be.  I just know that men who care for their women are supposed to drink pineapple juice but that's all I'm going to say about that.

So when my i s c & a w got pregnant with our first son she started craving big juicy hamburgers.  We were DINKs (dual income/no kids) so I took her to Fuddrucker's every night.  It was the king of burger places in 1995.  One night she was so grateful for her burger she kissed me and the burger flavor in her kiss was so wonderful I stopped being a vegetarian too.
If I had become a vegetarian for humane reasons instead of predatory ones and if I had any qualms about eating animals, living on acreage would've removed all doubt.  The first six months we lived in our  new house, the same two cows stood just beyond the fence, eating grass, chewing their cud and looking at us.
That's when it occurred to me that contributing to the welfare of mankind through slaughter, rendering, butchering actually gave meaning and purpose to an otherwise dull and meaningless life.
I'm just talking about cows here and I would never dehumanize any of my fellow human beings so please do think I'm alluding to any deeper connotations.  
« Last Edit: January 08, 2019, 02:43:57 PM by CharleyHorse46 »

CharleyHorse46

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #123 on: January 08, 2019, 02:51:12 PM »
Gig'em, I'm sure you've had these same experiences.

My neighbors kept cows exclusively but they'd strike some deal to borrow a neighbors bull for a week or two and in springtime they'd all have calves.  If the calves were girls they'd keep them and take some of the older cows to market.  If they were boys they always went to market - eventually, when they were old enough.

Little bulls were cute.  Fearless to a point but skittish.  Stand in front of them they'd back down.  Until it was about time for market and they'd knock you down.  And they'd still be rather little.  Didn't even want to see what they'd be like when they were big and fearless.

Cows were manageable enough.  Every few months or so, a  deer would tangle the electric wire, the cows would figure it out, push down  fence and make their escape down the county road.  Always at night.  You'd hear the clomp, clomp, clomp on the asphalt followed by the inevitable car horn.

You'd have to run down the road and get in front of them.  As they tried to step around, you'd just have to step in front of them again.  It was just like basketball.  Eventually they'd stop trying, give you a dirty look and go home.  Cows were agreeable like that.

But there was the one time one got a tire around its head. 

Drew4UTk

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #124 on: January 08, 2019, 03:06:42 PM »
i own the majority of a cow, from different donors, of course.  it's packed up in the freezer.  

camels are the dumbest of the dumb.  i can imagine an American Jersey attempting to discuss the mysteries of unrooted hay's sudden appearance with a camel and the camel just staring into space... 

true story: i was in the cab of a five ton BS'n with a buddy while we were staged on a patrol... there was a guy in the bed, sitting on the flip down troop bench at the back of that thing.  he was known for being less than intelligent, but was genuinely a good guy.  Some kid was herding the camels from one side of the road to the other and for reasons unknown decided to do so where we were staged.  The majority of the camels passed between the 5 ton and the 'follow' humvee immediately behind with maybe a 30 foot gap... one of the camels stops dead cold and this guy and it commence to a staring contest... 

my buddy and i are watching, but this guy doesn't know it.  

after a few seconds he reaches to his chest and unclips his pepper spray/CS dispenser, casually adjusts the nozzle of it, looks at the camel and back to the sprayer and gives one more adjustment... looks at the camel as he extends his arm in aim- pauses, slightly shifting his arm to the side and lowering it as if giving the camel 'one more chance', and then sprays the thing dead in the face.... 

the camel hardly moves for a second or two, and then slightly shakes its head... it then reared its head back and whips it forward, not only spitting but launching that nasty pepper-spray/CS laced wad of crap straight into this guys face.  

at this point me and my buddy in the cab are biting our lips to keep from laughing out loud and spoiling the scene.  

the guy on the back looks the the camel a second too long, then attends to reattaching the canister of spray back on his gear as if nothing happened.. .once that was accomplished he takes to wiping his face- but not before turning to look at us (no doubt to see if anyone had seen the incident) and that is when we lost it altogether... that crpa all over him was just too much... 

years later we still call this the 'meeting of the minds'... the guy who was spit on died about  20 years ago now... he got out of the Marine Corps and went to school in Arizona- where he was murdered by his room mate who apparently had some bad chemical dependencies and was prone to flipping out.  Shot him in his sleep. 

there is another tale of another guy who currently lives in Oklahoma where a camel in the road was less than decisive on which direction to go to get out of the way, and it started doing some funky high stepping which looked like a hackney horse doing jane fonda aerobics in the middle of the road... it looked like it finally decided to go left, and this guy went to drive by on the right when the camel changed its mind... this guy was driving a 'limo', which was a class 7 armored suburban... we had to explain to the DSS agents why the Ambassador's new 'limo' had a dent in the size and dimensions of a camels foot.... but it ended up he laughed too.  

i wish like hell i could have both of these incidents on film... they rank up there with the funniest things i've ever witnessed.  damn camels- they are dumb... 

CharleyHorse46

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #125 on: January 08, 2019, 03:23:27 PM »
So my father-in-law thought the best part of living in the country was being able to throw crap out in his pasture.  By the time I came into the picture, he'd been doing it for 30 years.  

One time one of his half-grown cows got a tire stuck around her head.  The i s c & a w and I and perhaps one or two toddler ninos were sitting on our porch drinking lemonade when we saw my father-in-law chasing around this half-grown cow with a tire stuck around her head.

After watching for a half hour or so, my i s c & w says to me, "Why don't you go help him?"  I looked at her like she was crazy but I was incentivized in those days to keep her happy so I wandered over through the gate separating our lands and said, "what's up?"

He says, "She's got a tire around her head and I'm trying to get it off."

I asked, "Need any help?" and turned to walk off cause he never wanted my help but he said OK.   I was in shorts and flip-flops. I hadn't even grown up in a small town, let alone the country.  I couldn't see this going well.

I did about the only thing I had been taught to do with cows, I got on the cows opposite side of my father-in-law and played basketball defense to keep it from getting past me.   Meanwhile my father-in-law roped it.  Easy enough, I thought, we're done.  

Nope.  F-I-L hands me the rope and says "Hold onto this while I go get my tractor."   So I stand there like the world biggest dork, holding a stupid looking cow with a tire around his neck on a rope.

20 minutes later my F-I-L putts back on his 1950s Ford tractor, takes the rope from me and drives into this little corral where he feeds the things.  I get to be gate man.  I'm working hard.

My F-I-L ties the loose end of the rope to the tractor and starts pulling out the slack and wrapping it around the back fender of the tractor until the cow is just five feet or so away from the tractor.   At this point he can just reach over and take the tire off.  Right?

No.  He reaches in and the cow goes mad and starts bucking and swinging its head like a bull in a rodeo.  And here's the thing that impressed me the most.  As she was bucking, she was jerking the tractor around the corral like it weighed about 50 lbs instead of 3000.

I backed up while my F-I-L fearlessly fought to remove the tire.  And he might've too.  Except that all the crazed mooing attracted all of the other cows, in particular this half-grown cow's momma, Becky, a ten year old longhorn with six foot from tip to tip horns.  Becky works her way through the stiles until she's in the corral with us where she inexplicably felt compelled to mount the younger cow.

Mass pandemonium.  I would've left right then but I just knew my father-in-law was going to get stomped to smithereens and I felt obligated to see it happen so I could call his name and politely wait for a response before running to call 9-1-1.

I did, however, back up the fence until I was sitting on it.  With my legs crossed.  I wasn't taking a tip of them horns where it hurt.

Somehow in the melee my father-in-law got tire off and everybody settled down for a minute.  I moved in to remove the tire cause I could just see somebody getting it stuck on their head again.  That's when my F-I-L moved in to loosen the rope from the cows neck.   Top cow fell off and stepped on my foot.  Fortunately the corral was muddy with something though it hadn't rained in weeks so my foot and flipflop went deep into the muck and nothing was broken but I didn't like it and my flipflop didn't come out with my foot and I was none too eager to put myself in the even more vulnerable and indefensible position of digging it out.  So I hobbled back to the fence where my wife and kids and mother-in-law and the old feller from across the road were standing.

Old feller said, "You lost a flipflop, boy."

I said, "yeah."

I asked my F-I-L what he was doing, he said, "Trying to get my rope."

I said "Cut the rope!"

"My oldest who was about four echoed, "Cut the rope!"

My second oldest who was about 18 months old yelled, "Cut the f----ing rope!"

Everybody just kind of stopped and pondered in stunned silence for a minute.

My F-I-L said, "It's good rope."

The old feller from across the road said, "You don't cut good rope."

I went home.  I had helped enough.
« Last Edit: January 08, 2019, 03:31:48 PM by CharleyHorse46 »

CharleyHorse46

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #126 on: January 08, 2019, 03:33:23 PM »
i own the majority of a cow, from different donors, of course.  it's packed up in the freezer.  

camels are the dumbest of the dumb.  i can imagine an American Jersey attempting to discuss the mysteries of unrooted hay's sudden appearance with a camel and the camel just staring into space...

true story: i was in the cab of a five ton BS'n with a buddy while we were staged on a patrol... there was a guy in the bed, sitting on the flip down troop bench at the back of that thing.  he was known for being less than intelligent, but was genuinely a good guy.  Some kid was herding the camels from one side of the road to the other and for reasons unknown decided to do so where we were staged.  The majority of the camels passed between the 5 ton and the 'follow' humvee immediately behind with maybe a 30 foot gap... one of the camels stops dead cold and this guy and it commence to a staring contest...

my buddy and i are watching, but this guy doesn't know it.  

after a few seconds he reaches to his chest and unclips his pepper spray/CS dispenser, casually adjusts the nozzle of it, looks at the camel and back to the sprayer and gives one more adjustment... looks at the camel as he extends his arm in aim- pauses, slightly shifting his arm to the side and lowering it as if giving the camel 'one more chance', and then sprays the thing dead in the face....

the camel hardly moves for a second or two, and then slightly shakes its head... it then reared its head back and whips it forward, not only spitting but launching that nasty pepper-spray/CS laced wad of crap straight into this guys face.  

at this point me and my buddy in the cab are biting our lips to keep from laughing out loud and spoiling the scene.  

the guy on the back looks the the camel a second too long, then attends to reattaching the canister of spray back on his gear as if nothing happened.. .once that was accomplished he takes to wiping his face- but not before turning to look at us (no doubt to see if anyone had seen the incident) and that is when we lost it altogether... that crpa all over him was just too much...

years later we still call this the 'meeting of the minds'... the guy who was spit on died about  20 years ago now... he got out of the Marine Corps and went to school in Arizona- where he was murdered by his room mate who apparently had some bad chemical dependencies and was prone to flipping out.  Shot him in his sleep.

there is another tale of another guy who currently lives in Oklahoma where a camel in the road was less than decisive on which direction to go to get out of the way, and it started doing some funky high stepping which looked like a hackney horse doing jane fonda aerobics in the middle of the road... it looked like it finally decided to go left, and this guy went to drive by on the right when the camel changed its mind... this guy was driving a 'limo', which was a class 7 armored suburban... we had to explain to the DSS agents why the Ambassador's new 'limo' had a dent in the size and dimensions of a camels foot.... but it ended up he laughed too.  

i wish like hell i could have both of these incidents on film... they rank up there with the funniest things i've ever witnessed.  damn camels- they are dumb...
I liked these stories!

Gigem

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #127 on: January 08, 2019, 05:07:31 PM »
JCG I sorta remember that story from long ago (CNNSI days!) and it's as funny as ever.  When you told me about how you felt about eating cows I hadn't yet acquired any (I married into cows myself).  I can see you spoke truth in everything about it down to the getting the rope back part.  

CharleyHorse46

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #128 on: January 08, 2019, 05:35:08 PM »
You're very kind, Gig'em.

You know... my second oldest son is 20 now and he still cusses like a sailor.  Only one in the family who cusses but he's been doing it since he was a baby.

Oh well.  Could be worse. He's a good kid.

FearlessF

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #129 on: January 10, 2019, 07:51:49 PM »
Charley,

You're in mid-off-season form

well done
"Courage; Generosity; Fairness; Honor; In these are the true awards of manly sport."

CharleyHorse46

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #130 on: January 11, 2019, 10:57:35 AM »
It was good seeing you and mini-Phil at Crazy Eyes in the ATX.   Always a pleasure to see you.  You’re a good guy.  I like the way you talk. That midwestern choice of phrases reminds me of Fargo.  Heck I even enjoyed hearing you share a piece of your ideological point of view even though I’m on the complete other side of the ideological spectrum.  It was civil, it was human, it was reasonable.  We should be senators.

utee94

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #131 on: January 11, 2019, 03:15:22 PM »

longhorn320

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #132 on: January 11, 2019, 08:58:26 PM »
Just saw UT finished the year ranked 8th

Not bad for a 4 loss team

In fact I dont remember a 4 loss team being in the top 10 ever

oh well stuff happens when thay love ya
They won't let me give blood anymore. The burnt orange color scares the hell out of the doctors.

CWSooner

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #133 on: January 11, 2019, 09:11:42 PM »
Auburn finished 10-4 and was ranked AP #10 just last year, 320.  But I think that's the only other time.

longhorn320

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #134 on: January 11, 2019, 09:44:19 PM »
Auburn finished 10-4 and was ranked AP #10 just last year, 320.  But I think that's the only other time.



really wow Id of lost that bar bet
They won't let me give blood anymore. The burnt orange color scares the hell out of the doctors.

FearlessF

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #135 on: January 11, 2019, 10:36:55 PM »
It was good seeing you and mini-Phil at Crazy Eyes in the ATX.   Always a pleasure to see you.  You’re a good guy.  I like the way you talk. That midwestern choice of phrases reminds me of Fargo.  Heck I even enjoyed hearing you share a piece of your ideological point of view even though I’m on the complete other side of the ideological spectrum.  It was civil, it was human, it was reasonable.  We should be senators.
always a pleasure
we should be senators
get some things resolved for the better
I don't mind folks that have other views A Tall, as long as they are good people with good values and good souls.
You are a good dude, Hooky.  Glad to know you are getting along well in life.
"Courage; Generosity; Fairness; Honor; In these are the true awards of manly sport."

FearlessF

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #136 on: January 11, 2019, 10:37:59 PM »
Just saw UT finished the year ranked 8th

Not bad for a 4 loss team

In fact I dont remember a 4 loss team being in the top 10 ever

oh well stuff happens when thay love ya
Utee has always enjoyed rooting for a "helmet"
"Courage; Generosity; Fairness; Honor; In these are the true awards of manly sport."

utee94

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Re: SEC vs Big 12 bowl game edition
« Reply #137 on: January 12, 2019, 04:17:53 PM »
Utee has always enjoyed rooting for a "helmet"
word

 

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