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Author Topic: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.  (Read 10151 times)

Offline CharleyHorse46

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #570 on: April 04, 2018, 10:46:13 AM »
One of my latest Austin affectations was to buy a tin of beard balm.  I suspect it may simply be a rebranding of Crisco and I'm not exactly sure what it does other than making my hand greasy and my beard whiter, but I look damn good and get lots of compliments so I guess I'm committed to doing it for the rest of my working career.

One day I came to work in a slim fit suit and a cute 30 something female coworker said I remind her of James Bond.  I asked, "Are you saying I look like an old man trying to be cool and impress young women?"

She said, "Yes."

But she winked when she said it, so at least I have that going for me.     

Online FearlessF

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #571 on: April 04, 2018, 12:52:49 PM »
did you immediately inform her how much you appreciate the "sneaky" nipple experience?
"Courage; Generosity; Fairness; Honor; In these are the true awards of manly sport."

Offline CharleyHorse46

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #572 on: April 04, 2018, 08:32:54 PM »
Nah. They have rules about sexual harassment nowadays.  Best just to leave her wink unreciprocated.

Offline CharleyHorse46

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #573 on: April 04, 2018, 08:44:12 PM »
I may have mentioned that a couple of years ago I took a short term part time job at a Home Depot to bump up my income just enough that I could buy three sons vehicles wihout incurring debt. 

What I had never realized before I started working there but soon realized once I was there is that an inordinate number of people in this metro area get their jollies by doing things of a rather exhibitionary and risque nature along the back wall of the store and wihin our demo store rooms.  

A disappointing majority of the interactions seemed to be of the not-that-there’s-anything-wrong-with-that variety, followed by the  motorcycle grandma variety.  But every now and then a panner finds a gold nugget among the river rocks and gravel.  And so it was.  Ever so often you’d come across a little angel sent straight from heaven in a handbasket.   The nips weren’t so sneaky the.  Rather a single item on a smorgasbord.  But still... if you weren’t careful something like that could make you walk into the corner of a sheet of tin.

Online FearlessF

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #574 on: April 05, 2018, 12:34:28 PM »
Nah. They have rules about sexual harassment nowadays.  Best just to leave her wink unreciprocated.
you sir, are getting old
"Courage; Generosity; Fairness; Honor; In these are the true awards of manly sport."

Online utee94

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #575 on: April 05, 2018, 08:50:08 PM »
No experience in a Home Depot, but I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.


Online longhorn320

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #576 on: April 05, 2018, 08:59:39 PM »
No experience in a Home Depot, but I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.


I'm sure all the drunks throwing up appreciated the show
They won't let me give blood anymore. The burnt orange color scares the hell out of the doctors.

Online FearlessF

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #577 on: April 05, 2018, 09:31:18 PM »
"Courage; Generosity; Fairness; Honor; In these are the true awards of manly sport."

Online FearlessF

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #578 on: June 08, 2018, 11:35:52 AM »
Longhorn Nation, join us in welcoming Drew Martin and Shawn Eichorst to the Forty Acres!

http://hookem.at/ExecutiveADs 
"Courage; Generosity; Fairness; Honor; In these are the true awards of manly sport."

Online FearlessF

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #579 on: June 08, 2018, 11:36:31 AM »
Eichorst is a turd

good luck
"Courage; Generosity; Fairness; Honor; In these are the true awards of manly sport."

Online FearlessF

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #580 on: June 08, 2018, 11:54:26 AM »
and thanks, hope Shawn is well paid..................

Fired last September 21 by Nebraska, Eichorst at that point had $1.7 million remaining on a contract that ran through June, 2019. While his new salary at Texas is not known, whatever it is would cut into the nearly $1 million he is still owed by Nebraska.
"Courage; Generosity; Fairness; Honor; In these are the true awards of manly sport."

Online longhorn320

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #581 on: June 08, 2018, 01:20:57 PM »
So he is the reason the huskers suck

He should fit right in at UT
They won't let me give blood anymore. The burnt orange color scares the hell out of the doctors.

Online utee94

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #582 on: June 08, 2018, 01:36:24 PM »
I understand Huskers have no love for him, but I'll go ahead and trust Chris Del Conte on this one.

I can assure you these is zero possibility he's worse than Chris Plonsky, who he and the other new assistant AD Drew Martin are effectively replacing.

Online FearlessF

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #583 on: June 08, 2018, 02:24:39 PM »
he might be fine in whatever role

just don't allow him to hire Mike Riley as the head football coach
"Courage; Generosity; Fairness; Honor; In these are the true awards of manly sport."

Online utee94

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #584 on: June 12, 2018, 04:33:56 PM »
he might be fine in whatever role

just don't allow him to hire Mike Riley as the head football coach
I'll definitely agree with you there.  I don't think that's an imminent danger, though.

Online FearlessF

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #585 on: July 07, 2018, 11:07:22 AM »
I done ran into my baby

and finally found my old blue jeans
"Courage; Generosity; Fairness; Honor; In these are the true awards of manly sport."

Offline CharleyHorse46

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #586 on: July 07, 2018, 03:39:59 PM »
Cryptic 
But lyrical almost like a country song
But country songs usually aren’t so opaque
Ran
Into
My 
Baby
An ex?
Found 
My
 Old 
Blue 
Jeans
Had sloppy comfortable sex with an older lady?
Perhaps one who once stole an actual pair of your old blue jeans.
I’m disturbed but happy for you.

Online BrownCounty

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #587 on: July 07, 2018, 04:42:54 PM »
well I could tell that they was mine

From all that oil and the gasoline

Online FearlessF

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #588 on: July 08, 2018, 10:44:28 AM »
Lord, How happy could one man be?
"Courage; Generosity; Fairness; Honor; In these are the true awards of manly sport."

Online FearlessF

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"Courage; Generosity; Fairness; Honor; In these are the true awards of manly sport."

Online utee94

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #590 on: July 25, 2018, 01:48:17 PM »
Wishbone.  Amen.

Online FearlessF

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #591 on: July 25, 2018, 02:03:53 PM »
The following Saturday, Texas put up 39 points in another win against another rival, this time ninth-ranked Arkansas. Back in Room 2001 of the Capri, Royal had a Budweiser in hand, when somebody asked, "Darrell, what are you going to call this offense?" Houston Post writer Mickey Herskowitz chimed in that the formation looked like "a wishbone." From then on, that's what Royal called it.
"Courage; Generosity; Fairness; Honor; In these are the true awards of manly sport."

Online utee94

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #592 on: August 18, 2018, 06:23:22 PM »
Well I sold the Airstream last week.  

And bought a modern, new camper trailer yesterday.  It's much larger and suits the family better.

But I put a lot of work into that Airstream and I'm sad to let it go.

Online FearlessF

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #593 on: August 19, 2018, 09:30:49 AM »
hopefully the work paid handsomely in resale value

see you at the Texas State Fair
"Courage; Generosity; Fairness; Honor; In these are the true awards of manly sport."

Online MikeDeTiger

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #594 on: August 20, 2018, 11:05:47 AM »
Well I sold the Airstream last week.  

And bought a modern, new camper trailer yesterday. 
I don't even know you anymore.

Online BrownCounty

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #595 on: August 20, 2018, 04:31:01 PM »
No experience in a Home Depot, but I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.

I worked at Woolworth in my teen years.  There was a girl working the cash register that went to the high school across town.  Woolworth had a receiving area that was closed and dark during the night shift.

She drove me crazy.  I had to let down my pup tent.  Thank goodness for that receiving area.

Online utee94

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #596 on: August 20, 2018, 07:47:52 PM »
Well I sold the Airstream last week.  

And bought a modern, new camper trailer yesterday.  It's much larger and suits the family better.

But I put a lot of work into that Airstream and I'm sad to let it go.
I don't even know you anymore.
Indeed.  I am terribly sorry to disappoint.
On the flipside-- brand new RV that's all clean and modern with appliances and systems that work EVERY TIME.  And, WARRANTY!

Online FearlessF

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Re: The Porch, y'all. pull up a seat and kick back.
« Reply #597 on: August 20, 2018, 09:24:09 PM »
probably gave up on making the adirondack chairs as well
"Courage; Generosity; Fairness; Honor; In these are the true awards of manly sport."

 

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