CFB51 College Football Fan Community

The Power Five => Big XII => Topic started by: CWSooner on November 02, 2021, 02:08:57 PM

Title: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: CWSooner on November 02, 2021, 02:08:57 PM
Will Coach Banks' job be in jeopardy?

https://uproxx.com/sports/texas-coach-stripper-girlfriend-monkey-halloween-bite-story-video/ (https://uproxx.com/sports/texas-coach-stripper-girlfriend-monkey-halloween-bite-story-video/)
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: utee94 on November 02, 2021, 02:10:39 PM
Why would his job be in jeopardy?  They knew about the stripper and the monkey when they hired him.  For that matter, so did Alabama, when the Tide hired him.

Only thing new in that story, is that a monkey bit a child on Halloween.
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: Mr Tulip on November 02, 2021, 02:12:19 PM
Very doubtful. 
The facts are currently in dispute as to if a bite actually occurred, or where (the monkey cage is locked in a back yard pen past two bolted gates). 

However, the fact that Banks is dating a dancer called "Pole Assassin" is not in dispute. Ms. Assassin and her monkey have been public knowledge since January at least! =)
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: utee94 on November 02, 2021, 02:14:39 PM
Very doubtful.
The facts are currently in dispute as to if a bite actually occurred, or where (the monkey cage is locked in a back yard pen past two bolted gates).

However, the fact that Banks is dating a dancer called "Pole Assassin" is not in dispute. Ms. Assassin and her monkey have been public knowledge since January at least! =)

Yup.

And like I said, she and her monkey were both present and visible, when he was at Alabama, before.

The only reason anyone's paying attention now, is that Alabama was great when he was there, while Texas continues to suck dog crap.
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: FearlessF on November 02, 2021, 02:32:50 PM
but, do the special teams suck monkey crap?
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: utee94 on November 02, 2021, 02:38:53 PM
It all sucks monkey crap.
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: longhorn320 on November 02, 2021, 03:27:43 PM
actually IMHO our special teams play is one of the few bright spots in this years team
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: utee94 on November 02, 2021, 03:54:04 PM
actually IMHO our special teams play is one of the few bright spots in this years team
I don't think it's a bright spot.  I guess it's a slightly less crappy than the rest of the team, spot.
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: Gigem on November 02, 2021, 03:56:52 PM
I know he was highly regarded at A&M when Sumlin was here but this was before the stripper days I think. Seems like he was in fact our interim coach when Sumlin was given the boot. 
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: Mr Tulip on November 02, 2021, 04:10:55 PM
I mean, I really do hope a little kid didn't actually get hurt and all, but otherwise this sound like the most baller play you could make on Halloween.

Realistically, it should help with recruiting!
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: utee94 on November 02, 2021, 04:14:12 PM
I mean, I really do hope a little kid didn't actually get hurt and all, but otherwise this sound like the most baller play you could make on Halloween.

Realistically, it should help with recruiting!
The recruits dig the fact that one of their coaches has a stripper girlfriend named Pole Assassin.  They're 16-18 yo boys, of course they like that.

Now, I don't approve of monkeys biting ANYONE, and especially not small children, but I'm not sure what that would have to do with Texas football?
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: longhorn320 on November 02, 2021, 04:27:53 PM
I don't think it's a bright spot.  I guess it's a slightly less crappy than the rest of the team, spot.
ok Mr Gloomy

Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: Mr Tulip on November 02, 2021, 04:30:23 PM
The recruits dig the fact that one of their coaches has a stripper girlfriend named Pole Assassin.  They're 16-18 yo boys, of course they like that.

Now, I don't approve of monkeys biting ANYONE, and especially not small children, but I'm not sure what that would have to do with Texas football?

I can think of a few people I wouldn't mind getting bitten by a stripper monkey.
The Detroit Red Wings have octopi. University of Cal Santa Barbara has banana slugs.
Texas Special Teams got a stripper monkey!
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: utee94 on November 02, 2021, 04:51:50 PM
If that monkey could tackle or block, then we'd really have something.
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: utee94 on November 02, 2021, 04:54:33 PM

(https://i.imgur.com/rFyLEZe.png)
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: utee94 on November 02, 2021, 04:57:00 PM

(https://i.imgur.com/guNagEL.png)
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: utee94 on November 02, 2021, 05:03:03 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/uzpcHSy.png)
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: CWSooner on November 02, 2021, 06:39:56 PM
Why would his job be in jeopardy?  They knew about the stripper and the monkey when they hired him.  For that matter, so did Alabama, when the Tide hired him.

Only thing new in that story, is that a monkey bit a child on Halloween.
Ah.
I didn't realize that the relationship with the stripper--and I've seen "abandoned his wife and children for her" bandied around--was old news.
Nothing new here but an angry monkey!
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: CWSooner on November 02, 2021, 06:42:03 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/guNagEL.png)
I've seen this one with the stripper and the monkey as seen here, but with the longhorn-head turned upside down.
I'm sure that's no surprise.
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: utee94 on November 02, 2021, 06:43:47 PM
Those sooners, original, as always.
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: Thumper on November 02, 2021, 06:44:14 PM
A story that includes stripper, monkey, and Longhorns in one headline shoulda been much better.  I do hope a child did not get hurt.
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: FearlessF on November 02, 2021, 08:12:56 PM
does the monkey have balls?
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: FearlessF on November 02, 2021, 08:15:45 PM
I can think of a few people I wouldn't mind getting bitten by a stripper monkey.
The Detroit Red Wings have octopi. University of Cal Santa Barbara has banana slugs.
Texas Special Teams got a stripper monkey!
might be better than the rally monkey for the Angels back in the day
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: utee94 on November 02, 2021, 10:00:59 PM
does the monkey have balls?
Is this a burning question in your mind for some reason?
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: FearlessF on November 02, 2021, 11:00:13 PM
nope, doesn't matter to me if BEVO or Ralphie has balls either

just interesting
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: Mr Tulip on November 03, 2021, 10:41:42 AM
does the monkey have balls?
I believe the monkey's given name is "Gia". Doubtful it's male, but if so, would only rate about 5th weirdest thing about this.
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: longhorn320 on November 03, 2021, 11:07:39 AM
I believe the monkey's given name is "Gia". Doubtful it's male, but if so, would only rate about 5th weirdest thing about this.
well but Gia thinks shes a male so she is
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: Cincydawg on November 03, 2021, 12:35:18 PM
Are y'all bringing this sort of opera to the SEC?
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: FearlessF on November 03, 2021, 12:39:24 PM
y'all wanted them, apparently

maybe y'all really wanted the Sooners, but it became a package deal
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: Mr Tulip on November 03, 2021, 12:42:38 PM
Banks passed through aTm and Bama, so I prefer to think of it as "SEC tested and approved".
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: longhorn320 on November 03, 2021, 12:43:10 PM
Are y'all bringing this sort of opera to the SEC?
stripper monkey and all buddy
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: utee94 on November 03, 2021, 12:58:18 PM
Are y'all bringing this sort of opera to the SEC?
Well since Banks hooked up with Pole Assassin and the stripper monkey whilst at Alabama, it's more like the SEC sent its circus to Austin.

Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: utee94 on November 03, 2021, 01:01:02 PM
Banks passed through aTm and Bama, so I prefer to think of it as "SEC tested and approved".
Darnit, I didn't see this had gone on to the next page and you beat me to it! :)
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: Cincydawg on November 03, 2021, 01:08:27 PM
If there was no motorcycle with a coed involved, it's hardly news in the SEC.

The name of the lady is however quite creative, I must admit.  SEC Shorts will have a fun time I surmise.

Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: Mr Tulip on November 03, 2021, 01:15:54 PM
Psh! A stripper monkey at a Halloween party is low key for Austin. We got 32 year olds playing Free Safety, backup QBs videotaping a LB getting his groove on, grad assistants with the trainers (sent that one to the SEC for a bit, too!), and we're not even up to the Minister of Culture playing bongos naked and getting the cops called.

Ya'll thought the "Keep Austin Weird" stuff was just a tourist tag line?
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: longhorn320 on November 03, 2021, 01:18:40 PM
Psh! A stripper monkey at a Halloween party is low key for Austin. We got 32 year olds playing Free Safety, backup QBs videotaping a LB getting his groove on, grad assistants with the trainers (sent that one to the SEC for a bit, too!), and we're not even up to the Minister of Culture playing bongos naked and getting the cops called.

Ya'll thought the "Keep Austin Weird" stuff was just a tourist tag line?
careful you might be talking about our next governor 
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: FearlessF on November 04, 2021, 11:24:30 AM
you go the the SEC, you gonna git some beans in your chili

3 meat chili with W Sauce Louisiana Pepper Exchange Waterland!!!

https://fb.watch/93J2JOdzv8/ (https://fb.watch/93J2JOdzv8/)

from my buddy Stalekracker

(https://www.cfb51.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.shopify.com%2Fs%2Ffiles%2F1%2F0553%2F9892%2F4497%2Fproducts%2Fimage_1200x.jpg%3Fv%3D1628086844&hash=2c595df35979a9744f1c29b942c0de9e)

might be a LSU recruiting advantage
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: longhorn320 on November 04, 2021, 12:23:00 PM
nice for bean soup
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: FearlessF on November 04, 2021, 12:25:55 PM
agreed
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: FearlessF on November 04, 2021, 01:55:55 PM
https://youtu.be/wvGoIWBPrZ4
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: utee94 on November 07, 2021, 10:37:10 AM
 Turns out, the monkey is the only one associated with the Texas football team, willing to put up a fight 
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: Thumper on November 07, 2021, 03:43:49 PM
Does he have any eligibility left?
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: FearlessF on March 11, 2023, 07:06:30 PM
good hoops contest at the half
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: Gigem on March 12, 2023, 07:53:33 PM
If UT and A&M both win it appears they will play each other in the tourney.  Have to get by Penn State and, ahem, Colgate.  
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: FearlessF on March 12, 2023, 07:58:42 PM
monkey business
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: utee94 on March 13, 2023, 12:41:29 PM
If UT and A&M both win it appears they will play each other in the tourney.  Have to get by Penn State and, ahem, Colgate. 

Yeah the ags got screwed out of a 6-seed or better, just so the NCAA tourney could manufacture some drama for that potential second round game.

But, I guess since they spent $3B for the TV rights, they have the right to attempt to fabricate some entertainment to increase viewership.
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: FearlessF on March 13, 2023, 01:29:43 PM
it's about $$$ not fairness
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: utee94 on March 21, 2023, 01:30:39 PM
Didn't get to see the ags-horns matchup that I was hoping for.  Ah well, we'll be in the SEC soon enough, and then we can see it annually, in all sports.
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: Cincydawg on April 01, 2023, 11:06:51 AM
I saw some youtibe thing about funny business in Athens, I didn't watch it, just saw the title, recruiting violations etc. gonna bring the Dawgs down.

This comes up for any team that has some success, but at times it's real.
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: FearlessF on April 01, 2023, 07:41:41 PM
probably just a baseball thang

don't really matter
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: FearlessF on June 16, 2023, 06:26:18 PM
COWASAKI

(https://scontent.ffod1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/353772824_246952044733240_7001666873676435231_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=AcaMGhwB0IkAX9d_R3D&_nc_oc=AQlBeaIDCcmIpAvFsomyn5LIE9-h2beArezL-p4-u3CaCtOq34VbY0l7fA9pemQEsUM&_nc_ht=scontent.ffod1-1.fna&oh=00_AfBw0IuEH2MC-njwmrFWtMLVYSPI52KmEDXNbOyHZZ7GFA&oe=6491CA24)
Title: Re: Monkey Business in Austin?
Post by: FearlessF on June 16, 2023, 06:35:30 PM
Looks like a Cowasaki, but that's an old Bultaco.......

That thing really mooooves