CFB51 College Football Fan Community
The Power Five => Big Ten => Topic started by: huskerdinie on February 18, 2020, 09:03:51 PM
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I know most of you all don't know me personally, but I would really appreciate some prayers / good wishes coming my way.
In the last two weeks, my brother has notified us that our mom (who lives in Kansas), has been in hospice for six months and is now close to the end. She is completely bedridden and unresponsive - not eating or drinking except very occasionally. As he put it, could be 2 hours or two weeks and the nurses say no sense in coming to see her as she is not really there and is only awake long enough for the next morphine dose.
Then to top it off, my brother-in-law in South Dakota has just been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in his lungs, bones, lymph nodes and a golf ball size tumor in his brain.
Wish I could be cloned so I could be in two places at once. As my daughter said, 2020 sucks.
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Prayers for you and your family
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Prayers, @huskerdinie (https://www.cfb51.com/index.php?action=profile;u=14) ...
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Praying for you and yours.
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Done.
My Ma is would have been 75 today. I'll check in with her.
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Prayers for you and yours, hd,
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Prayers sent your way
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Best wishes to you and the rest of your family working through all this!
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Done.
My Ma is would have been 75 today. I'll check in with her.
Good plan. My mother is 89 and she's been a tough old bird these past 9 years since my father passed. We always think we have more time and I am so grateful that even though she's in a different state, we've been in constant touch with weekly phone calls. My hubby calls his mom regularly too. That's the bad thing about not being physically close with loved ones, but at least a phone call is better than nothing, right?
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Prayers out for you.
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Done & best wishes
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Thank you all. My mom passed this morning around 5:30 peacefully in her sleep.
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Thank you all. My mom passed this morning around 5:30 peacefully in her sleep.
Sorry Husker My thoughts are with you.
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Thank you all. My mom passed this morning around 5:30 peacefully in her sleep.
deepest and most sincere condolences to you and your family @huskerdinie (https://www.cfb51.com/index.php?action=profile;u=14) ...
this is likely not the time nor the place, but please consider that we all follow this trajectory and our time is coming too. something akin to this was shared with me, and it still serves me well and 'may' for you, too:
what was fluid and dynamic, which could turn on a dime with one misstep or mistake or moment of brilliance, kindness or love, in personal interaction with one another, at any moment- has now been recorded in stone to be unchanged forever... from now until the end of your days the memory will be definitive instead of uncertain when you ask "I wonder what mom would have done?"... that sounds crazy and bereft of value, but there is opportunity now to see the entire picture- her life- in one setting from start to finish, and capture the essence that was her in its entirety. well, almost it's entirety- there will always be things remaining in mystery you simply don't know about, or that the perspective of others sees differently... yet the beauty is that 'cascade' precisely- the 'little things' that was said or done that were in passing or impulse that gave form and direction to others and enriched their lives. the big things- where every person stood to be counted and she offered her own response- all of those quietly meld together in the story of her life, and the story of her is now yours and yours alone- everyone else's capture will vary.
it's for this reason i offer this, and because through the fog of grief these things sometimes escape even our peripheral view, but they follow along behind us ever closing the distance until we finally realize these 'stories' are there and we realize the value not only of the person who passed, but that of their 'story'. Now- when you encounter something that offers you pause or demands consideration before reaction, instead of picking up a phone or sending an email or calling across the room or whatever form of communication you choose, you have the 'whole tale' to reflect on when you ask yourself "what would mom have done? what advice would she have offered?"... and there is no ambiguity with her response.. in stone and with a smile you have the complete story of her life to guide you. there is sadness in that, but there is also beauty- and this from a dude who speaks and knows little of 'beauty'. the beauty is "you know" now. there is no question. as YOU navigate through simply 'existing' at times, and so long as your body and soul are adjoined, you have a reference point and fallback...
and for this reason, she is never gone.
if a prayer should be offered to the living, it should be "may your story live forever" because.... our time is coming too.
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Thanks, Drew. I do find that comforting and it is something that I have discovered while grieving for my father after his passing. I am always wondering "what would Dad do / say, etc." I have all the stories he passed along to me while doing family genealogy and now have more stories of Mom to add to my store of knowledge and advice handed down through the generations.
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just reading this as I've been in Texas with my Brother and Friends for almost a week...
deepest and most sincere condolences to you and your family Huskerdinie
perhaps this is why my brother gave me a hug on departure - we are not a hugging family. Surprised me a bit.
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Thanks, Fearless. I do appreciate the condolences. I have to admit that my family has always been huggers and so is my husband's family. Takes us forever to say goodbye after a visit, lol. Which is odd because typically we are very much the stoic German and don't show emotions much. Now that we all live so spread out, every moment we have together is precious and we are more demonstrative.
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yup, Robinson is my surname and therefore English, but I'm 3/4's German,
not many hugs and kisses in public