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When most of my contemporaries and I were getting married, the "Destination Wedding" was first starting to catch on as a thing.  One of my friends asked me to be in his wedding which I gladly accepted, and then later told me his fiancee was leaning heavily toward a destination wedding.  I told him to have a great time and that I'd send him a great wedding present, but wouldn't be attending the wedding after all.  He was pretty peeved with me but when he approached everyone else in our group with the same news, they all responded in the same way,  Ultimately he had to tell his bride that if they did a destination wedding, he wouldn't have any groomsmen.

Ultimately I'm just not going to let someone else determine where and how I spend my valuable and limited vacation time, and resources.

Exactly. YOUR destination might not MY destination in any way, shape or form. I really kinda hate this trend.

We declined one in the Dominican last December. We have no desire to go there, for any reason.

Isn’t that any wedding? Like, I don’t live in Florida. But if a friend wants to get married there, I will have to spend resources to be there. Unless the wedding is explicitly in town.

That said, a couple should be respectful to a degree that makes sense. And if they’re holding it in like Italy, just be prepped for no shows. (A relative had a friend who decided to go with a “camping wedding.” It sounds like it went better than I have any right to, although one set of grandparents made it out there for the rehearsal, decided he didn’t want to make the drive again and left)

Back in 2015 we went to a destination wedding because it was in Florida, and we knew we might want to live here someday. 

We spent 12 days between Fort Myers and Clearwater and fell in love with Punta Gorda, and later, BSM. Here we are.

2 years ago, my business partner's son had a destination wedding in St. Pete Beach. We went to it.

Stuck on ground at SAN.  

Back in 2015 we went to a destination wedding because it was in Florida, and we knew we might want to live here someday.

We spent 12 days between Fort Myers and Clearwater and fell in love with Punta Gorda, and later, BSM. Here we are.

2 years ago, my business partner's son had a destination wedding in St. Pete Beach. We went to it.

This is leading to an interesting question of how one defines a “Destination“ wedding. My general read is that it’s somewhere an inconvenient distance from any central point for the couple or families.

(The second one you describe feels more quasi-local for you, but that’s another matter)

This is leading to an interesting question of how one defines a “Destination“ wedding. My general read is that it’s somewhere an inconvenient distance from any central point for the couple or families.

(The second one you describe feels more quasi-local for you, but that’s another matter)

Sure.  If I'm being asked to travel to the couple's hometown because it's convenient for the family of the bride and/or groom, that's one thing.

If I'm being asked to travel because it's inconvenient for everyone and the happy couple is just choosing my vacation destination for me, that's gonna be a negatory.

I also get it that a destination wedding is likely going to end up much cheaper for the bride and groom (or whichever family is paying), than it would be to throw a traditional wedding plus a honeymoon.  That's fine.  Just don't expect everyone to be there. 

Anyway, in the case I described above, both bride and groom were from Austin, they currently lived in Austin, both of their families lived in Austin, and the bride just wanted something different.  Her parents didn't want to do the destination wedding either, but weren't going to tell her that.

This is leading me down memory lane, but I’m trying to think of any weddings I went to that were in a notable locale. Most were: 

Where the couple lived (or a suburb)
Where one member of the couple grew up 
Where one family lived
A big/logical city in a state where the couple grew up (I think they were from Missouri, got married in STL)
Town they went to college in (and I was crashing that wedding)

There was one that was on the Michigan lake coast for people from Chi, but that was maybe a 100 mile drive. 

Sure.  If I'm being asked to travel to the couple's hometown because it's convenient for the family of the bride and/or groom, that's one thing.

Yeah, when you grew up in Chicago, went to Purdue, then moved to California, most of the people you know are having a "destination wedding", at least for you. I got to see beautiful Noblesville, IN a few times! 

I do find that destination weddings are a lot less of a problem for later in life weddings (whether it's a couple who just didn't get married young, or people on their second attempt). I think by that point you're inviting people who have gotten to a place where they have some money, you're not inviting 200 people because you "have to" include "everyone", so the people you're inviting are the people who would REALLY want to be there no matter where the wedding is. 

That was what my buddy did for his (2nd) marriage at age 38. He was from Indy, lived in SoCal, and his to-be-wife was from SoCal. He decided to make his wedding [nearly] equally inconvenient for everyone, but had it at the Buffalo Trace distillery in Kentucky. That was a blast! 

I didn't do any of that. My wife and I had the legal ceremony (same friend I just mentioned officiated it) at our wine bar with about 10 people, and then we went to Italy and eloped, having the actual ceremony be just the two of us, the officiant, and a photographer, in Florence. We ended up throwing a small reception when we got back, but that was just so that we had a way to include my kids. If neither of us had any kids, we'd not have done that.