So you’ve been eating hot dogs and McChickens all your life, but you won’t take the vaccine because you don’t know what’s in it. Are you kidding me?
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Me:sobbing "I can't see you anymore. . . . I'm not going to let you hurt me again
My Trainer: "It was one sit-up.”
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If you find yourself feeling useless, remember it took 20 years, trillions of dollars, and four presidents to replace the Taliban with the Taliban.
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I haven't gotten anything done today. I've been in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.
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Apparently RSVPing to a wedding invitation "Maybe next time" isn't the correct response.
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Sometimes the Universe puts you in the same situation again to see if you’re still a dumbass.