So I was relaxing with my wife yesterday, watching the NFL, and didn't get to see all of you disparaging In n Out. For shame!
Time for the defense of In n Out that you haven't heard. Because people talk about how "great" In n Out is, and then people get unrealistic expectations, expectations that it assuredly could never live up to.
So let's talk first about what In n Out isn't. It's not gourmet. It's not a steakhouse-style burger. It's not Five Guys. It's not designed to wow you, or do anything special. It won't cure cancer or ED, it won't cause the clouds to part and the heavens to open amidst choruses of angels. It's just a burger.
So when you compare In n Out to other burgers, you need to set the parameters of comparison. It's not comparable to a steakhouse or Five Guys burgers in the same way that New York pizza isn't really comparable to Chicago deep dish even though they are both called pizza, or how a roast beef deli sandwich isn't comparable to a french dip even though they are both thin-sliced roast beef served between bread.
The proper comparisons to In n Out are the Big Mac, the Whopper, the Wendy's burger, etc. Fast food. The thing that we all love to hate, because most fast food is just purely a vessel for filling our faces with cheap and moderately satisfying calories. Fat, carbs, and salt.
What do you typically notice about all of those fast food joints [In n Out the exception]? When you see the commercials, and then you get the food at the restaurant, they don't look the same. The ones with lettuce have wilted, nasty lettuce, sliced so thin that you aren't sure of its provision. If they have tomatoes, they're usually nasty. Minced onion that came from a bag of frozen crap. Buns that don't really taste like bread. They're just white and flavorless. Slices of the cheapest "cheese" they can order. And the burger meat is just a gray mass of crap. It doesn't taste like anything. And on a big mac, that "special sauce" tastes like colored mayonnaise. There's no flavor to be had.
It's here that you recognize why In n Out is so loved. In n Out is merely a very well-executed burger, loaded with fresh ingredients that taste how they look.
- The buns are brushed with butter and then crisped on the flat top. When you bite into the burger you can even taste the crispy bits on the inside surface of the bun.
- They use big pieces of actual lettuce. It's fresh and crisp, never wilted. You can feel the moisture still spilling out of it with each bite.
- The onions are big slices of onion, that again taste fresh and crisp. You can tell that onion was just sliced.
- The tomatoes are thick slices of tomato.
- The "cheese" is creamy and melted, and more substantial sized slices that your typical fast food. While it's still just American "cheese", it seems a lot more delicious than slices of Kraft.
- The patty itself is where I find a little bit of fault; they're small. It's why I always order a double-double instead of just a cheeseburger, because in a single it wouldn't balance. However the patties themselves, being small, give a lot of surface area ratio for a good char, and so the burger patty is delicious.
- The "special sauce" tastes more flavorful than what is on a Big Mac.
- And they have their customizations on their "secret" menu, all of which have their places.
And something about In n Out's quality control is so good that every time I eat there, it's ALWAYS done right. I've never pulled out of the drive through with a wrong order. Even when ordering off the "secret" menu, it's always right.
In n Out isn't some special life-changing experience. It's just a burger. A fast food burger, and priced as such. But it's the fast food burger that all others should aspire to be. It's just done right, and in a world where there's so much crap that looks like they're sacrificing quality to get an extra quarter-penny of margin, it's still just done right.
But yeah... The fries suck. I'm thinking of starting to order them "well done", i.e. double-fried, because they're not good. Usually if you eat AT the store, the fries are okay, but you have to eat them before you even pick up your burger because they go downhill fast. However, they are made with fresh potatoes, cut and fried on-demand, and don't come out of a frozen bag. So even though I don't particularly like them, it's not because they're skimping.
