I didn't know that there were such severe consequences for cranking one off in the privacy of your own home.
Let's say for example that, oh... Fro was spanking it every single time that he read one of your posts.
As long as you can't see him doing it, who cares? I mean it's not like he's whipping it out on the subway. He's in the privacy of his own home.
That's where you're supposed to do stuff like that.